Today, we get to delve into Debi's understanding of medicine and science in general. This chapter is jumps around from topic to topic so I have taken the liberty of combining all of the random paragraphs on medical ideas into a series of posts.
Reflection on what Debi learned from the heart-breaking death of a neighbor's child:
Did I learn anything? That night changed my life. Never again did I stand in line like a dumb sheep waiting to receive what "professionals" said I needed. I learned that "professionals" were people who were just following orders from people whose only goal was to make a buck.
I don't see how following professionals is any different from mindlessly following your husband's orders. In the Pearl household, after all, an entire series of boring and tedious books have been written so that people can mindlessly follow the Pearl's advice on living and the Pearls can make money.
In other words, Mike and Debi have become the money-grubbing professionals they so despise.
It is true they might have gone to school a few extra years and and learned a different vocabulary; but they were not my baby's mom, and they couldn't make wise decisions for him.
Public health professionals - the kind Debi is so hell-bent on skewering - get a minimum of a 4-year Bachelors degree from an accredited college or university followed by a Masters degree from an university. AT MINIMUM. Many are MD/Ph.D holders which is 5 years of study post-Bachelors followed by a 2+ year residency in medicine.
Debi, by contrast, dropped out of Bible college.
Who do you want to take medical advice from?
Time has strengthened my resolve. The older and more "professional" I get, the less I respect the "professionalism" as the voice of knowledge, understanding and wisdom.
Oh, don't worry, Debi. No professional - with or without quotes - would ever mistake you for a professional.
Many people gain knowledge, understanding and wisdom without a formal, advanced education. Based on Debi's statements about education, home-schooling, science and agriculture, though, I can't give her a "wise" rating in any of those fields.
Now, no matter what the issue, before I submitted, I would LEARN everything I could possibly know for the sake of my children's health and my family's well-being. The door was open. I started to learn...really learn.
You need to learn about:
FROGS
Did you know that down in the Amazon there is a tree frog that has horribly toxic poison on its back? The poison does not appear anywhere in nature except the gut of schizophrenics (people with multiple personalities). Isn't that weird? What does the gut have to do with the brain? This poison is not in the gut of healthy people. Is it found in any other diseased individuals?
Oh, what fresh hell is this?!?
Alright, I know that some tree frogs produce poisons; every kid who goes to the zoo knows that.
I have no idea what Debi is talking about otherwise- so I had to run a Google search.
Debi has run into Dr. Natasha Campbell-McBride's Gut And Psychology Syndrome (GAPS).
Tip One: When a website cites Dr. Andrew Wakefield AFTER he was struck from the medical register in Great Britain for abusive medical procedures on disabled children and had his research retracted from all major journals due to academic fraud, be aware you are reading crap.
Tip Two: PubMed is a free website that lists the abstracts for the majority of published medical research. Natasha Campbell-McBride has never published a peer-reviewed paper which would have been very easy if she had actual research to back GAPS up.
I am not surprised that Debi fell for this scam. She doesn't have basic medical knowledge to realize that schizophrenia and multiple personality disorders are different disorders - so how would she realize that the GAPS website is a fraud?
Thanks to a mom and dad who were desperate to find help for their autistic son, we know that the same toxin is found in the gut of autistic kids. Where did their bodies get it? Did it develop there from something they ate? How does the gut relate to a brain disorder called autism? Right now you are unmarried and autism is not an issue with you, but what about two years from now? What are your chances of having an autistic child in two years? Higher than you think?
That mom and dad? Natasha Campbell-Brown is the mom according to Science-Based Medicine.
Debi can't answer any of the questions she raises here since the first three would require human medical experimentation and the last three are based on so many different statistics that every person's answer would be different.
I find it pathetic, though, that Debi's trying to bolster her "wise woman" persona by pretending she has a solution to autism.
Once an unknown disease, autism is now destroying the lives of 1 in every 100 children.
That's pretty insulting to people with autism.
Plus, this is a woman who recommends hitting infants with tree-branches to promote obedience. How many lives has SHE destroyed?
Each year a greater percentage of healthy two-year-olds suddenly develop strange digestive disorders and bizarre behavioral problems. When the disturbed parents have their child tested they are informed he has autism. Why? What is causing these children to get sick? What can you do to avoid the chances of your child developing autism?
Odd. "Professionals" like pediatricians and child development specialists have noticed that children with autism often start showing symptoms as very young infants. This actual insight has lead to better early intervention for children with autism.
What does Debi recommend to reduce your chances of having a child with autism?
NOTHING. She never actually answers her own question.
Maybe there's a method to her slip-shod editing after all.
AntiPearl: To mistrust science and deny the validity of scientific method is to resign your job as a human. You'd better go look for work as a plant or wild animal.
Friday, October 24, 2014
Thursday, October 23, 2014
Preparing to Be a Help Meet: Debi's Massive Overreaction
This story from Debi's life is horrible...just horrible.
The Death Angel
Most people that hear this story think it was just my imagination playing tricks on me. It happened more than thirty-five years ago. I was just a young wife when the Death Angel visited, but I am convinced today, as I was then, that this truly happened just as I relate it.
Personally, I think she had a panic attack.
I lived in a small community of mostly young military couples. All of the families were expecting, or had a baby or two already. The girl directly across the street was nineteen years old and was married to a soldier of the same age who was in training to go to Vietnam. Her baby was born a few days before mine. One cold morning she came over to tell me the military authorities had called her, reminding her that the Health Department had issued a requirement that babies two-and-a-half months old should get started on their vaccinations. This was a new mandate, starting the baby shots earlier than ever before. Somewhere I had that there were problems with these vaccinations, especially for such young babies, but who was I to question the Department of Health? Besides, the shots were free and we could afford that! My best friend, Carla, who lived next door, also had a two-month-old son, but when I invited her to ride along, she wasn't interested in getting her baby a shot. Mrs. Soldier Girl and I took our babies and stood in the cold in a line outside a small trailer that served as the local Health Department, waiting for our babies to get their shots. We chatted and visited with not a care in the world except to stay warm. I think back to that day and ask myself, how were we to know what was to come? Then I wondered, why didn't we take the time to ask questions, demand information, or seek out advice? I know the answer. We were young; we believed that everyone else knew better than we did. Until that moment neither of us had ever had been put in a position to know just how terribly a thing could go wrong due to a lack of knowledge.
Points worth pondering:
Debi's got more to say on the subject of health care in general and birth control in particular, but I'm done for today.
AntiPearl: Make no judgments where you have no compassion.” Anne McCaffrey.
The Death Angel
Most people that hear this story think it was just my imagination playing tricks on me. It happened more than thirty-five years ago. I was just a young wife when the Death Angel visited, but I am convinced today, as I was then, that this truly happened just as I relate it.
Personally, I think she had a panic attack.
I lived in a small community of mostly young military couples. All of the families were expecting, or had a baby or two already. The girl directly across the street was nineteen years old and was married to a soldier of the same age who was in training to go to Vietnam. Her baby was born a few days before mine. One cold morning she came over to tell me the military authorities had called her, reminding her that the Health Department had issued a requirement that babies two-and-a-half months old should get started on their vaccinations. This was a new mandate, starting the baby shots earlier than ever before. Somewhere I had that there were problems with these vaccinations, especially for such young babies, but who was I to question the Department of Health? Besides, the shots were free and we could afford that! My best friend, Carla, who lived next door, also had a two-month-old son, but when I invited her to ride along, she wasn't interested in getting her baby a shot. Mrs. Soldier Girl and I took our babies and stood in the cold in a line outside a small trailer that served as the local Health Department, waiting for our babies to get their shots. We chatted and visited with not a care in the world except to stay warm. I think back to that day and ask myself, how were we to know what was to come? Then I wondered, why didn't we take the time to ask questions, demand information, or seek out advice? I know the answer. We were young; we believed that everyone else knew better than we did. Until that moment neither of us had ever had been put in a position to know just how terribly a thing could go wrong due to a lack of knowledge.
Points worth pondering:
- Debi's first child is a daughter. Since this story is about her baby SON, this had to be her second or third child. Debi could be as young as 22 (if she had Rebekah and Nathan back-to-back immediately after marrying Michael) OR as old as 25(ish) with three children. She may well be a role-model to "Mrs. Soldier Girl"
- Mrs. Soldier Girl went out of her way to help Debi. She passed on information she got from the army and went with Debi. And yet, Debi doesn't give her a real name - she gets a epithet. For anyone new to PearlSpeak, an epithet means that character is going to be thrown under the bus.
- Debi - the older, experienced mother - should be excused for her "lack of knowledge". Mrs. Soldier Girl - who is 19 and facing an extended absence of her husband - well....Debi's gonna throw her under the bus.
Mrs. Soldier Girl called that evening to ask if my baby had a big red hot spot where the shot was administered. He did. Both of the babies had high fevers. I knew this was going to be a long night. As I rocked my son, trying to soothe him, I began to wonder why Carla had resisted getting her son a shot, and I sincerely wished I had listened to her when she tried to explain what she had read concerning the shots. Finally, the medicine I have my son caused him to sleep. It was cold in our old farm house, so I nestled my baby boy up to my body and fell asleep. He cried off and on all night.
New points:
- Mrs. Soldier Girl called Debi for advice. She trusted Debi.
- Carla told Debi her fears about getting the vaccination. Debi ignored her. Did Debi pass that info back to Mrs. Soldier Girl? (For the record, I am rabidly PRO-vaccination. I'm just pointing out Debi's raging hypocrisy in this story.)
- I get a flu shot every year. I get a giant red welt and a 102 degree fever like clockwork and I am in my thirties. Why do I get the shot? Better a 24 hour period where I take a heap of Benedryl and Motrin and sleep until my immune system finishes getting ready than a potentially life-threatening case of influenza since I have asthma. Why were they immunizing children younger? Because babies were dying or having severe injuries from measles. Imagine the same symptoms the little boys were having but for over a week - that's the measles.
I awoke sometime in the predawn hours, the blackest part of the night. Other than my newborn's soft groans and my husband's light snores, the night was deadly quiet, like when there is a heavy snow that blankets the sound. I couldn't say why, but I lay tense and fearful, waiting...for what, I knew not. I was afraid. I moved ever so gently to lay my hand on my son's head. It was burning hot. I moved my head to his tiny chest and heard a strange, rasping sound. Profound terror gripped me, causing my whole body to sweat. Then, as if I could see the shadowy figure, I knew that the Death Angel stood there at the end of the bed. My body was rigid, my mouth dry; I tried to control my breathing, but could only manage great gasps. I reasoned with myself that I was just an emotional female, and that nothing was really there. Yet conviction held ground in my mind and soul...I knew what I knew, and I knew that the Death Angel had come to our house.
I've gotta give Debi credit: That's the best description of a panic attack I've ever read.
If Debi was honestly worried about her son being dangerously ill, she should have called 911 or an emergency line. I doubt he was, but at least she would have gotten treatment for her panic attack.
I gave up trying to convince myself that it wasn't real and I began to pray as I never prayed before. I pulled my baby up tight to my chest, defying the figure at the end of the bed that dared to enter this room. Time passed as I begged for God's mercy. I began to pray aloud, getting louder and louder as my panic grew.
Panic attacks suck - and apparently freaking out doesn't stop the attack. Good to know. The next bit always makes me laugh.
Finally I jerked the covers off of Mike and shouted, "Wake up now and pray! The Death Angel is in this room! Pray for our son!" My startled husband sat up, confused and alarmed. Then he grabbed the covers away from me, mumbling that I had lost my mind. I jerked his covers off and smacked him on the back as I screeched, "Get up and pray for your son!" By this time he was awake and truly concerned with my sanity.
I'm guessing that if the Death Angel was in the room, Michael would have seen him(her? it?), too.
He tried to comfort me, but I cared nothing for comfort; I only wanted to hear him pray, asking God for mercy and commanding the Death Angel to leave the room. I told my husband what to pray. He reminded me that I could pray just like he could pray, so why did I wake him up?
I never thought I would say this, but Michael Pearl makes a good point. Debi doesn't want comfort; she wants him to pray - but she can do that as well as he can....
But he was my spiritual head and I knew that was now was the time for the top command to pray. Thoroughly chilled, he grabbed the covers to lay back down but this time his normally obedient wife shouted, "You will never sleep again unless you pray for your son!"
He turned over and tried to see me through the darkness, trying to perceive what had provoked such a passion. What I was doing was so out of character that he was genuinely mystified and somewhat intrigued. He wondered if maybe I was right, and the Death Angel was indeed standing there in the room.
See, hysteria can be passed from person to person - especially in the middle of the night.
He reached over me and laid his hand on our son's head. He prayed. As he prayed, I sensed the Death Angel leave the room. For the first time in several minutes, the constriction in my chest released; I could breathe again.
Interestingly, even without doing anything, panic attacks eventually stop.
Our baby fell into an exhausted slumber. We lay there wide awake , man and wife in the dark, staring at the ceiling, whispering about what happened. He believed me. We watched the early morning light slowly begin to lighten our bedroom.
Suddenly, red and yellow lights darted across our ceiling. I sat up and pushed the curtains open, peering across the street. The cold thin window pane frosted over and I rubbed it clear to see better. Then I saw the ambulance. It was parked at Mrs. Soldier Girl's house. I still remember the feeling of profound relief that enveloped me. I still remember the shame that followed. My son was spared....but hers was taken? I watched as a police car arrived. Why police?
If Debi stopped here, I'd have a shred of respect for her.
We quickly dressed and Michael rushed over to see what was wrong and was told the following story: The baby cried all night. The young parents only had a couple nights left together before the soldiers was shipped off to war. When they awoke in the morning the baby was no longer breathing.
How is any of that different from Debi and Michael?
Debi likes rubbing her mothering skills in people's faces, but she didn't do anything different from the younger woman across the street. But if she admitted - really admitted - that Debi would have to accept that her baby could have died. That really bad things could happen to her family as easily as it happened to her neighbors.
Debi can't accept that. She retroactively blames Mrs. Soldier Girl - a young mother who trusted Debi.
At first the poor stricken couple was charged with neglect because the authorities assumed the baby died of cold. Later, it was determined that it was the common three month crib death that had taken the child. No one dared blame the vaccination that our babies were given the day before.
Well, except Debi - the Bible college drop-out. She's got the skills to put professional epidemiologists to shame in her mind.
I gave up trying to convince myself that it wasn't real and I began to pray as I never prayed before. I pulled my baby up tight to my chest, defying the figure at the end of the bed that dared to enter this room. Time passed as I begged for God's mercy. I began to pray aloud, getting louder and louder as my panic grew.
Panic attacks suck - and apparently freaking out doesn't stop the attack. Good to know. The next bit always makes me laugh.
Finally I jerked the covers off of Mike and shouted, "Wake up now and pray! The Death Angel is in this room! Pray for our son!" My startled husband sat up, confused and alarmed. Then he grabbed the covers away from me, mumbling that I had lost my mind. I jerked his covers off and smacked him on the back as I screeched, "Get up and pray for your son!" By this time he was awake and truly concerned with my sanity.
I'm guessing that if the Death Angel was in the room, Michael would have seen him(her? it?), too.
He tried to comfort me, but I cared nothing for comfort; I only wanted to hear him pray, asking God for mercy and commanding the Death Angel to leave the room. I told my husband what to pray. He reminded me that I could pray just like he could pray, so why did I wake him up?
I never thought I would say this, but Michael Pearl makes a good point. Debi doesn't want comfort; she wants him to pray - but she can do that as well as he can....
But he was my spiritual head and I knew that was now was the time for the top command to pray. Thoroughly chilled, he grabbed the covers to lay back down but this time his normally obedient wife shouted, "You will never sleep again unless you pray for your son!"
He turned over and tried to see me through the darkness, trying to perceive what had provoked such a passion. What I was doing was so out of character that he was genuinely mystified and somewhat intrigued. He wondered if maybe I was right, and the Death Angel was indeed standing there in the room.
See, hysteria can be passed from person to person - especially in the middle of the night.
He reached over me and laid his hand on our son's head. He prayed. As he prayed, I sensed the Death Angel leave the room. For the first time in several minutes, the constriction in my chest released; I could breathe again.
Interestingly, even without doing anything, panic attacks eventually stop.
Our baby fell into an exhausted slumber. We lay there wide awake , man and wife in the dark, staring at the ceiling, whispering about what happened. He believed me. We watched the early morning light slowly begin to lighten our bedroom.
Suddenly, red and yellow lights darted across our ceiling. I sat up and pushed the curtains open, peering across the street. The cold thin window pane frosted over and I rubbed it clear to see better. Then I saw the ambulance. It was parked at Mrs. Soldier Girl's house. I still remember the feeling of profound relief that enveloped me. I still remember the shame that followed. My son was spared....but hers was taken? I watched as a police car arrived. Why police?
If Debi stopped here, I'd have a shred of respect for her.
We quickly dressed and Michael rushed over to see what was wrong and was told the following story: The baby cried all night. The young parents only had a couple nights left together before the soldiers was shipped off to war. When they awoke in the morning the baby was no longer breathing.
How is any of that different from Debi and Michael?
- Both babies were fussy and feverish after shots.
- Both babies cried all night.
- Debi and Michael both fell asleep for at least some portion of the night as did the parents across the street.
Debi likes rubbing her mothering skills in people's faces, but she didn't do anything different from the younger woman across the street. But if she admitted - really admitted - that Debi would have to accept that her baby could have died. That really bad things could happen to her family as easily as it happened to her neighbors.
Debi can't accept that. She retroactively blames Mrs. Soldier Girl - a young mother who trusted Debi.
At first the poor stricken couple was charged with neglect because the authorities assumed the baby died of cold. Later, it was determined that it was the common three month crib death that had taken the child. No one dared blame the vaccination that our babies were given the day before.
Well, except Debi - the Bible college drop-out. She's got the skills to put professional epidemiologists to shame in her mind.
Debi's got more to say on the subject of health care in general and birth control in particular, but I'm done for today.
AntiPearl: Make no judgments where you have no compassion.” Anne McCaffrey.
Wednesday, October 22, 2014
Preparing to Be a Help Meet: Knowledge - Part One
A new chapter brings a new topic: Knowledge according to Debi Pearl.
Moral to the Story: Knowledge can save your life.
A Caution: Shrugging off learning can be devastating.
Are we talking "don't eat wild mushrooms"? Yet another cryptic beginning to a chapter by Debi.
Married life is not all romance and passion - maybe 5 percent. The rest of your time is devoted to the routine of living. There will be unexpected trials and burdens that will catch you and your sweetie totally by surprise. Whether your family, not to mention your passion, survives life's curveballs depend on knowledge....yours.
Marriage isn't always easy; Debi and I agree on that point. But looking back on the hard parts of my marriage, none of those times were solved through knowledge.
My life-long best friend Jess died in a car accident the day before Nico and I married. Looking back, the first six months of our marriage is a blur of exhaustion and grief. I had the summer off of work, so I had the time I needed to start the process of grieving. I'd sleep for 12 hours, get up, do one thing around the house, sleep for a few hours, do one more thing around the house and crash from exhaustion. That's what I needed to keep going, but I felt horrible. Nico was wonderful. He held me when I cried and was just there for me.
At the same time, Nico was suffering from severe, unrelenting facial pain that felt like a sinus infection. He was going back and forth between doctors, trying medication after medication with no success. A specialist thought he might have a blocked sinus that would need surgery. The worst point was when he got a CT scan and found out that there was no blocked sinus. We both dissolved in to tears of sheer exhaustion and frustration because we had mentally prepared for a short surgery that would relieve his pain - and found out we were back at square one. I tried to support Nico - I remember making a lot of soups since the warmth eased the pain.
I remember a lot of afternoons curled up in bed together because we were both too exhausted to do anything - not even watch TV.
Long story short: Eventually, the doctors realized Nico had a superficial sinus infected and needed to use an antibiotic applied through nasal irrigation for about 6 months - although the pain lessened markedly within a week, thankfully. As time passed, I moved out the most acute phase of grief and stared feeling some more positive emotions again while still missing Jess and figuring out what a life without her looked like.
Our marriage survived. Knowledge had nothing to do with it - patience, gentleness, forbearance and fortitude got us through.
Most people live their lives behind closed doors, figuratively speaking. They look out the window and see other couples living their lives in such satisfaction, but it all seems so distant to them, so hard, so unreachable.
That's really bleak.
A man comes into marriage believing his wife will be the fulfillment of all his longings, all his dreams and all his expectations. After only a few short weeks, he looks into her eyes and finds only dissatisfaction. A wife blames her husband for being a loser sitting in front of the TV or spending his life on some other time waster. The husband is frustrated that something is not as it should be. He sees the disappointment in his wife's eyes and it leaves him powerless to go forward, so he drops into the nearest chair to lose himself in mindless pursuits. And so he stands behind the locked door thinking his youthful dream were just wishful thinking, not really possible. He loses hope. Without his vision, she has no vision or she pursues her own vision apart from him.
First, the man has incredibly unrealistic ideas about marriage. Marriage isn't going to fix any problems - especially about longings and dreams. It's not her fault he's dissatisfied. The man created a idol - and married a real woman. Apparently, he's such a fragile being that he can't even come up with a good idea to change what he thinks is wrong. Nope, he just become a human slug.
The woman isn't much better. Well, until she starts off on her own vision. Following your own vision is better than waiting for SlugMan to get moving...
Half of Christian couples settle into a life of ho-hums. The other half will part ways and try again, and then again, and maybe again, with different spouses. Failures keep pairing up, hoping to find a workable combination.
I'm gonna make that into a cross-stitch sampler for the next couple I know who get married. That'll look nice on the wall.
"Where there is no vision, people perish." (Proverbs 29:18)
A) I do not see how that verse from Proverbs has anything to do with marriage.
B) That's not the entire verse - and there isn't a period there. The entire verse in KJV is " Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he." The entire verse is an even worse fit.
For most people it is a simple lack of knowledge that keeps them chained to the floor, daydreaming their lives away, daydreaming their lives away one day at a time. Living behind closed doors means always living in expectation, waiting, waiting, never doing anything better with their lives. Do you daydream your life away even now? It is a sign of things to come.
I keep having a line from "The Ten Commandments" (1956) go through my head "So let it be written, so let it be done."
Debi's laboring this point so hard that I feel like she's hoping if she wishes misery on enough people everyone else will be as miserable as she is.
Actually, if I had to point to one moment in my life when I saw clearly the need to take hold of everything I could to learn and grow in wisdom, it would be the night the Death Angel came to visit me. It was then that I finally rushed through the door of being actively pursuing truth and have never returned. I'll tell you that story, but first you need to understand a few simple truths.
Yeah, that's the next post. The story alternates between one of the funniest vignettes of what life with Debi is like and a horrifically Pearlian victim-blaming bash....
Proverbs 24:3-5 says: "Through wisdom is a house builded; and by understanding it is established: And by knowledge shall the chambers be filled with all precious and pleasant riches. A wise man is strong; yea, a man of knowledge increases strength."
Mmm'kay. That's another random Bible quote.
Life is not that complicated. There are only a few simple principles that God set in place to make the whole process not just run smoothly, but really fly.
Didn't Debi just spend a few pages on how complicated life is? Most of this book is about the theme "Life is bad and hard."
Proverbs 24:14 says "So that the knowledge of wisdom be unto thy soul: when thou has found it, then there shall be a reward, and thy expectation shall not be cut off"
I doubt that Bible quote was talking about worldly knowledge. I think it's talking more about a relationship with God.
Many girls waste their youth by being entertained by movies or novels, shopping, playing the social game, yakking on the phone, texting, etc, or just lying around waiting for one of these things to happen.
Random youth-bashing always makes me laugh. Why do I think Debi would be against teenagers knitting and building corn-cribs if they found it pleasant - because fun is BAD!
When someone hands them a book like this, they grimace and say, "I'm not much of a reader...it's just so hard; it's boring," or "I'm just so busy, I don't have time to read books like that; besides, I've already read one like that before." And so their lives stay limited by the lack of knowledge, understanding or wisdom. This chapter is a wake-up call.
Wait, I thought home-schooling guaranteed voracious reading habits. (Seriously, every pro-home-schooling website extols how much more voracious reading goes on in home-schooled students than from public school students. Of course, I'm biased because I'm a non-home-schooled voracious reader.)
Also, kudos to anyone who ran away from this book. Your life will be better for it.
The next post has an awful story about how Debi saved the life of her sick baby (who was having a perfectly normal (read minor) reaction to a vaccine) while the woman across the street baby died because she wasn't as great a mom as Debi. The overall story is sick and twisted. You also get to see what Debi's like while having a panic attack. (I should feel sorry for her because I know how debilitating panic attacks are....but I don't. Her re-telling of it is comedic gold.)
If this will bother you, skip the post titled "Debi's Massive Over-reaction".
AntiPearl: To know what you know and what you do not know, that is true knowledge.
Moral to the Story: Knowledge can save your life.
A Caution: Shrugging off learning can be devastating.
Are we talking "don't eat wild mushrooms"? Yet another cryptic beginning to a chapter by Debi.
Married life is not all romance and passion - maybe 5 percent. The rest of your time is devoted to the routine of living. There will be unexpected trials and burdens that will catch you and your sweetie totally by surprise. Whether your family, not to mention your passion, survives life's curveballs depend on knowledge....yours.
Marriage isn't always easy; Debi and I agree on that point. But looking back on the hard parts of my marriage, none of those times were solved through knowledge.
My life-long best friend Jess died in a car accident the day before Nico and I married. Looking back, the first six months of our marriage is a blur of exhaustion and grief. I had the summer off of work, so I had the time I needed to start the process of grieving. I'd sleep for 12 hours, get up, do one thing around the house, sleep for a few hours, do one more thing around the house and crash from exhaustion. That's what I needed to keep going, but I felt horrible. Nico was wonderful. He held me when I cried and was just there for me.
At the same time, Nico was suffering from severe, unrelenting facial pain that felt like a sinus infection. He was going back and forth between doctors, trying medication after medication with no success. A specialist thought he might have a blocked sinus that would need surgery. The worst point was when he got a CT scan and found out that there was no blocked sinus. We both dissolved in to tears of sheer exhaustion and frustration because we had mentally prepared for a short surgery that would relieve his pain - and found out we were back at square one. I tried to support Nico - I remember making a lot of soups since the warmth eased the pain.
I remember a lot of afternoons curled up in bed together because we were both too exhausted to do anything - not even watch TV.
Long story short: Eventually, the doctors realized Nico had a superficial sinus infected and needed to use an antibiotic applied through nasal irrigation for about 6 months - although the pain lessened markedly within a week, thankfully. As time passed, I moved out the most acute phase of grief and stared feeling some more positive emotions again while still missing Jess and figuring out what a life without her looked like.
Our marriage survived. Knowledge had nothing to do with it - patience, gentleness, forbearance and fortitude got us through.
Most people live their lives behind closed doors, figuratively speaking. They look out the window and see other couples living their lives in such satisfaction, but it all seems so distant to them, so hard, so unreachable.
That's really bleak.
A man comes into marriage believing his wife will be the fulfillment of all his longings, all his dreams and all his expectations. After only a few short weeks, he looks into her eyes and finds only dissatisfaction. A wife blames her husband for being a loser sitting in front of the TV or spending his life on some other time waster. The husband is frustrated that something is not as it should be. He sees the disappointment in his wife's eyes and it leaves him powerless to go forward, so he drops into the nearest chair to lose himself in mindless pursuits. And so he stands behind the locked door thinking his youthful dream were just wishful thinking, not really possible. He loses hope. Without his vision, she has no vision or she pursues her own vision apart from him.
First, the man has incredibly unrealistic ideas about marriage. Marriage isn't going to fix any problems - especially about longings and dreams. It's not her fault he's dissatisfied. The man created a idol - and married a real woman. Apparently, he's such a fragile being that he can't even come up with a good idea to change what he thinks is wrong. Nope, he just become a human slug.
The woman isn't much better. Well, until she starts off on her own vision. Following your own vision is better than waiting for SlugMan to get moving...
Half of Christian couples settle into a life of ho-hums. The other half will part ways and try again, and then again, and maybe again, with different spouses. Failures keep pairing up, hoping to find a workable combination.
I'm gonna make that into a cross-stitch sampler for the next couple I know who get married. That'll look nice on the wall.
"Where there is no vision, people perish." (Proverbs 29:18)
A) I do not see how that verse from Proverbs has anything to do with marriage.
B) That's not the entire verse - and there isn't a period there. The entire verse in KJV is " Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he." The entire verse is an even worse fit.
For most people it is a simple lack of knowledge that keeps them chained to the floor, daydreaming their lives away, daydreaming their lives away one day at a time. Living behind closed doors means always living in expectation, waiting, waiting, never doing anything better with their lives. Do you daydream your life away even now? It is a sign of things to come.
I keep having a line from "The Ten Commandments" (1956) go through my head "So let it be written, so let it be done."
Debi's laboring this point so hard that I feel like she's hoping if she wishes misery on enough people everyone else will be as miserable as she is.
Actually, if I had to point to one moment in my life when I saw clearly the need to take hold of everything I could to learn and grow in wisdom, it would be the night the Death Angel came to visit me. It was then that I finally rushed through the door of being actively pursuing truth and have never returned. I'll tell you that story, but first you need to understand a few simple truths.
Yeah, that's the next post. The story alternates between one of the funniest vignettes of what life with Debi is like and a horrifically Pearlian victim-blaming bash....
Proverbs 24:3-5 says: "Through wisdom is a house builded; and by understanding it is established: And by knowledge shall the chambers be filled with all precious and pleasant riches. A wise man is strong; yea, a man of knowledge increases strength."
Mmm'kay. That's another random Bible quote.
Life is not that complicated. There are only a few simple principles that God set in place to make the whole process not just run smoothly, but really fly.
Didn't Debi just spend a few pages on how complicated life is? Most of this book is about the theme "Life is bad and hard."
Proverbs 24:14 says "So that the knowledge of wisdom be unto thy soul: when thou has found it, then there shall be a reward, and thy expectation shall not be cut off"
I doubt that Bible quote was talking about worldly knowledge. I think it's talking more about a relationship with God.
Many girls waste their youth by being entertained by movies or novels, shopping, playing the social game, yakking on the phone, texting, etc, or just lying around waiting for one of these things to happen.
Random youth-bashing always makes me laugh. Why do I think Debi would be against teenagers knitting and building corn-cribs if they found it pleasant - because fun is BAD!
When someone hands them a book like this, they grimace and say, "I'm not much of a reader...it's just so hard; it's boring," or "I'm just so busy, I don't have time to read books like that; besides, I've already read one like that before." And so their lives stay limited by the lack of knowledge, understanding or wisdom. This chapter is a wake-up call.
Wait, I thought home-schooling guaranteed voracious reading habits. (Seriously, every pro-home-schooling website extols how much more voracious reading goes on in home-schooled students than from public school students. Of course, I'm biased because I'm a non-home-schooled voracious reader.)
Also, kudos to anyone who ran away from this book. Your life will be better for it.
The next post has an awful story about how Debi saved the life of her sick baby (who was having a perfectly normal (read minor) reaction to a vaccine) while the woman across the street baby died because she wasn't as great a mom as Debi. The overall story is sick and twisted. You also get to see what Debi's like while having a panic attack. (I should feel sorry for her because I know how debilitating panic attacks are....but I don't. Her re-telling of it is comedic gold.)
If this will bother you, skip the post titled "Debi's Massive Over-reaction".
AntiPearl: To know what you know and what you do not know, that is true knowledge.
Monday, October 20, 2014
Preparing to Be a Help Meet: Three Types of Women - Part
Debi is about to begin another "pick a verse - any verse!" Bible interpretation of why women should be submissive to men.
The Hebrew word Ayzer, from which the English words help meet come, mean one who helps. Woman was created to be a helper who was suited to meet the man's needs, to fill in between the lines. The female is a softer image, one step removed from the original. I am his curves. I am his sweetness, thoughtfulness, compassion, sensitivity and so on.
Again, I feel bad that Debi has known so few men that she honestly believes that men cannot be thoughtful, sweet, sensitive or compassionate. The vast majority of men I've met have all - or most - of those qualities.
Plus, the Gospels make a pretty good case for Jesus being at least thoughtful and compassionate.
I was created to help him be successful, to bear his children and train them according to his will. God did not create a help meet for the woman, for the responsibility is not hers. He is the one responsible and in authority. He needs a suitable helper.
What the hell are you talking about Debi?
Run that statement to the logical conclusion. If your husband tells you to abuse your children and raise them to be mass murders, there is no way you can defend yourself legally or morally under the "My husband said I was supposed to do that."
The Bible is pretty explicit about how wives are more than free to disobey - or even deceive their husbands if their husbands are breaking the law - see the story of Abigail and Nabal in 1 Samuel 25.
1 Corinthians 11:8-9 says, "For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man."
Debi jumps around in 1 Corinthians 11. I wondered why that was so I read the entire chapter. In the New Revised Standard Version, the portion after 11:1 has a large heading titled "HEAD COVERINGS". All of the verses that Debi pulls out to support wifely submission are actually written to explain why women who lived in areas where modest married women covered their heads should continue to do so. She also leaves out a few verses that are more interesting like 1 Corinthians 11:11-12
Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man or man independent of woman. 12 For just as woman came from man, so man comes through woman; but all things come from God.
Those two verses, in my humble opinion, shoot most of Debi and Michael's views on female submission and male unquestioned authority in the foot.
This passage should alter our way of thinking about marriage somewhat. Maybe we should be asking, "Would I be a good helper for that man? Would I be capable of supplying all his needs, filling the emptiness in his heart, and serving him in a way to make him successful in all he chooses to try?" And then we would change the way we pray. "Lord, help me learn to be the kind of woman a good man will need to help him in all things."
No one human being can supply the ALL the needs for another.
I don't know what emptiness was in Michael Pearl's heart before he met Debi, but there still seems to be a gaping hole in there.
There is no way a wife can be saddled with the entire responsibility of making her husband successful. If the husband wants to be successful, HE needs to make sensible choices about his activities. A wife can help her husband sometimes, but his success or failure is his own responsibility.
Satan could have tempted this lonely man at any time, but the Deceiver waited for the creation of the weaker vessel. "For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression." (1 Timothy 2:13-14). Satan knew that the man could not be easily deceived, but the woman could.
Why pick a quote from 1 Timothy when the story is from Genesis?
Because Genesis never discusses why Satan tempted Eve rather than Adam. Genesis 2:6 notes that Adam was with Eve when she was tempted so it was more of an epic fail for men and women together.
The very first command God ever gave to a woman was, "Thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. (Genesis 3:16) God then goes on to tell us "But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God. (1 Corinthians 11:3)
"For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body" (Eph. 5:23)
*Giggles*
So God didn't talk to anyone for over 2,000 years!? Yup. There are three books sequentially in the Bible: Genesis, 1 Corinthians, and Ephesians. Nothing else.
Pretty sure the next two paragraphs with Bible quotes were written/chosen by Michael Pearl, not Debi. The voice of the author changes abruptly especially if you read the section aloud. There is a brash militaristic tone that often appears in Michael's writing that is absent in Debi's. Plus, Debi talked about 1 Corinthians 11: already...and yet the verse is quoted AGAIN. Who edited this book?
God gave man the kind of nature that would be suitable to hold the superior office in the chain of command. A wife's position under her husband is where God put her for her own spiritual, emotional, and physical safety. It is the only position where a wife will find real fulfillment as a woman.
Except for Debi. Michael was physically brutal with her during their honeymoon - and has shown no signs of repentance or awareness since.
If Debi is a fulfilled woman, may God let me always be unfulfilled.
God is not impressed by our gifts, our types or our strengths. He is impressed by our willingness to abide by and appreciate his program by conforming to the needs of our man. God calls married women help meets. He NEVER called a man a help meet to his wife. This is not a two-way street. God commanded us wives to submit to, obey and even reverence our husbands. He also tells us why we are assigned the role of helper.
"For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of the man. For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man. (1 Corinthians 11:7-9).
"But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of every woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God." (1 Corinthians 11:3)"
Or more accurately: Why women should wear head coverings......
"This is a great mystery; but I speak concerning Christ and the church... and the wife see that she reverences her husband" (Eph. 5: 32-33)
No, the original verse does not have an ellipse in the middle.
The bit left out is :
" This is a great mystery, and I am applying it to Christ and the church.33 Each of you, however, should love his wife as himself, and a wife should respect her husband"
Which is a point Michael Pearl could work on.
Anyone else notice the conspicuous lack of quotes from any of the Gospels? Seems like Jesus (and his biographers) were not as hung up on the topic as Paul was...and even Paul spent most of his writings on other matters.
At this point, Debi launches into eight pages of how to tell if a guy is a Prophet, Priest or King - in the middle of the chapter titled "Three Types of Women". I'm skipping those pages. (Seriously, do not hire their editor(s). They are not very good....)
AntiPearl: The limits of tyrants are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they oppose.
The Hebrew word Ayzer, from which the English words help meet come, mean one who helps. Woman was created to be a helper who was suited to meet the man's needs, to fill in between the lines. The female is a softer image, one step removed from the original. I am his curves. I am his sweetness, thoughtfulness, compassion, sensitivity and so on.
Again, I feel bad that Debi has known so few men that she honestly believes that men cannot be thoughtful, sweet, sensitive or compassionate. The vast majority of men I've met have all - or most - of those qualities.
Plus, the Gospels make a pretty good case for Jesus being at least thoughtful and compassionate.
I was created to help him be successful, to bear his children and train them according to his will. God did not create a help meet for the woman, for the responsibility is not hers. He is the one responsible and in authority. He needs a suitable helper.
What the hell are you talking about Debi?
Run that statement to the logical conclusion. If your husband tells you to abuse your children and raise them to be mass murders, there is no way you can defend yourself legally or morally under the "My husband said I was supposed to do that."
The Bible is pretty explicit about how wives are more than free to disobey - or even deceive their husbands if their husbands are breaking the law - see the story of Abigail and Nabal in 1 Samuel 25.
1 Corinthians 11:8-9 says, "For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man."
Debi jumps around in 1 Corinthians 11. I wondered why that was so I read the entire chapter. In the New Revised Standard Version, the portion after 11:1 has a large heading titled "HEAD COVERINGS". All of the verses that Debi pulls out to support wifely submission are actually written to explain why women who lived in areas where modest married women covered their heads should continue to do so. She also leaves out a few verses that are more interesting like 1 Corinthians 11:11-12
Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man or man independent of woman. 12 For just as woman came from man, so man comes through woman; but all things come from God.
Those two verses, in my humble opinion, shoot most of Debi and Michael's views on female submission and male unquestioned authority in the foot.
This passage should alter our way of thinking about marriage somewhat. Maybe we should be asking, "Would I be a good helper for that man? Would I be capable of supplying all his needs, filling the emptiness in his heart, and serving him in a way to make him successful in all he chooses to try?" And then we would change the way we pray. "Lord, help me learn to be the kind of woman a good man will need to help him in all things."
No one human being can supply the ALL the needs for another.
I don't know what emptiness was in Michael Pearl's heart before he met Debi, but there still seems to be a gaping hole in there.
There is no way a wife can be saddled with the entire responsibility of making her husband successful. If the husband wants to be successful, HE needs to make sensible choices about his activities. A wife can help her husband sometimes, but his success or failure is his own responsibility.
Satan could have tempted this lonely man at any time, but the Deceiver waited for the creation of the weaker vessel. "For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression." (1 Timothy 2:13-14). Satan knew that the man could not be easily deceived, but the woman could.
Why pick a quote from 1 Timothy when the story is from Genesis?
Because Genesis never discusses why Satan tempted Eve rather than Adam. Genesis 2:6 notes that Adam was with Eve when she was tempted so it was more of an epic fail for men and women together.
The very first command God ever gave to a woman was, "Thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. (Genesis 3:16) God then goes on to tell us "But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God. (1 Corinthians 11:3)
"For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body" (Eph. 5:23)
*Giggles*
So God didn't talk to anyone for over 2,000 years!? Yup. There are three books sequentially in the Bible: Genesis, 1 Corinthians, and Ephesians. Nothing else.
Pretty sure the next two paragraphs with Bible quotes were written/chosen by Michael Pearl, not Debi. The voice of the author changes abruptly especially if you read the section aloud. There is a brash militaristic tone that often appears in Michael's writing that is absent in Debi's. Plus, Debi talked about 1 Corinthians 11: already...and yet the verse is quoted AGAIN. Who edited this book?
God gave man the kind of nature that would be suitable to hold the superior office in the chain of command. A wife's position under her husband is where God put her for her own spiritual, emotional, and physical safety. It is the only position where a wife will find real fulfillment as a woman.
Except for Debi. Michael was physically brutal with her during their honeymoon - and has shown no signs of repentance or awareness since.
If Debi is a fulfilled woman, may God let me always be unfulfilled.
God is not impressed by our gifts, our types or our strengths. He is impressed by our willingness to abide by and appreciate his program by conforming to the needs of our man. God calls married women help meets. He NEVER called a man a help meet to his wife. This is not a two-way street. God commanded us wives to submit to, obey and even reverence our husbands. He also tells us why we are assigned the role of helper.
"For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of the man. For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man. (1 Corinthians 11:7-9).
"But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of every woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God." (1 Corinthians 11:3)"
Or more accurately: Why women should wear head coverings......
"This is a great mystery; but I speak concerning Christ and the church... and the wife see that she reverences her husband" (Eph. 5: 32-33)
No, the original verse does not have an ellipse in the middle.
The bit left out is :
" This is a great mystery, and I am applying it to Christ and the church.33 Each of you, however, should love his wife as himself, and a wife should respect her husband"
Which is a point Michael Pearl could work on.
Anyone else notice the conspicuous lack of quotes from any of the Gospels? Seems like Jesus (and his biographers) were not as hung up on the topic as Paul was...and even Paul spent most of his writings on other matters.
At this point, Debi launches into eight pages of how to tell if a guy is a Prophet, Priest or King - in the middle of the chapter titled "Three Types of Women". I'm skipping those pages. (Seriously, do not hire their editor(s). They are not very good....)
AntiPearl: The limits of tyrants are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they oppose.
Wednesday, October 15, 2014
Preparing to Be a Help Meet: Three Types of Women - Part 5
We've finished the three types of women, so the chapter should end now....right?
Nope.
A man has a natural need to protect, defend, and cherish, therefore he is drawn toward a weaker vessel. A woman's need to be cared for causes her to be drawn to a man who makes her feel secure. These natural need help us to find life mates that best fit our abilities and drives. But power struggles still arise especially when a girl has not been taught what God says concerning her husband.
I don't like where this is going. Also, I am confident that God has not told Debi anything about my husband.
Some of you who have strong gifts might ask, "Well, what about my God-given gifts and drives? Are women just supposed to lay down their abilities and let the man do his thing, even when she may be more gifted and capable than he is?"
No.
Yes! That is exactly the way it is, and no, not at all.
That makes no sense.
The key is to recognize your natural type, not so you can take the lead, but so you can understand how it might weaken or aid your service to your first-in-command - your husband (Ephesians 5:22-24)
Yes, Ephesians 5:22-24 does tell wives to submit to their husbands. Nowhere, however, does the Bible tell wives that their husband is first-in-command. That honor always go to the Creator God.
Do the Pearls realize that they are advocating a (pathetic) form of idolatry?
God knew we would complain, so he gave us a careful, logical answer. Now for you girls who live by your feelings (like me), I know it is painful, but try think logically for just a moment. The answer lies in the very nature of a man and the nature of a woman. Understanding and appreciating these Biblical realities is the foundation of all that makes a cherished help meet.
I don't know how to think like Debi, but I imagine it is quite painful. I'm a woman and have NO problem using logic.
Shouldn't this "divine" answer be obvious?
Man's Nature: God did not create man with a knowledge of good and evil. He was created to develop into a higher plane of wisdom and character. God knew that this growth process would be challenged by the devil and by man's own propensity to advance himself. There was a problem with creating a man with autonomy, as evidenced by the perpetual failures of the male gender. But God in his wisdom created the male with an innate caution and natural skepticism rooted in his cold logic and unemotional responses. Granted, that which guards him against believing a lie can be twisted to become the basis of rejecting the truth, as history demonstrates. The devil is the master of deceit. He is the father of lies (John 8:44) So God created man with extreme resistance, reluctance, stubbornness and with a skeptical mind.
*Rubs at forehead*
So many problems in one paragraph... I don't know where to start.
First, I don't think this section was written by Debi. The voice of the writer is completely different than the rest of the book. I suspect this section was ghost written by Michael...but I can't prove that.
Let's wade into the theological morass. MikeDebi's God is constrained by both the devil and by man. If MikeDebi's God is constrained, then God is not omnipotent - a characteristic claimed by the Creator God of the Abrahamic religions.
Equally importantly, the only sentence in the whole paragraph about human nature that is supported by the Bible is "God did not create man with a knowledge of good and evil." The rest of the paragraph is a bunch of random suppositions lumped together.
Why did she / he insult the entire male gender? Women screw up, too.
And does this mean men who are sensible, active participants in life, agreeable, and not generally paranoid are not actually men?
(Side note from my goofy husband: ALL men who help out around the house, care for children, interact with other human beings respectfully, and smile regularly have been planted by the Devil to make women put their guards down and not submit to their husbands. It's all so clear now....)
Female's Nature: God created the female to express in excess a narrower band of the image of God. She is the softer, kinder, believing side. God designed the woman to be sensitive and vulnerable for the sake of the little ones whom she must nurture. The soul of a mother must be quick to feel, to hurt, to love, to have compassion, to take in the broken, and to believe the best. Vulnerability is both a woman's greatest natural asset and the point of her greatest weakness. Our very nature makes us susceptible to being tricked. We were created to be protected by our men while we nurture the family and maintain a connection with the emotional side of God.
If God created women with certain traits, there is no way those traits are "excessive." (I try not to judge others religious beliefs, but the Pearls get under my skin AND blatantly stray into weird, selfish heresies.)
Women are created to raise children as a sole purpose. God must be agonizingly bad at math. Assume that women start having children at age 20 and produce 1 child a year until age 45 in the Quiverfull ideal. This means women are raising kids for at most 43 years out of a 85-year life span. Why not just have women start breeding at age 12 and stop at 67 years old? Women would still have 18 years to raise the last baby before dying.
How exactly did Jael's driving a tent peg through Sisera's skull fit in the child-rearing paradigm outlined by the Pearls? I mean, I can see how it fits with a cow protecting her baby - but not the wussy, push-over woman of PearlLand....
Male and female together complete the image of our Creator, but we are vastly different. We each carry a strength and a weakness. Our roles were designed around these strengths and weaknesses. Neither can perform the role of the other well.
According to whom? Michael Pearl isn't very good at being a human being, so I wouldn't use him as an example of men and caring. Debi apparently can't use logic, but many women can.
In the next section, Debi launches into a detailed explanation of the Biblical support for her worldview. It's...something.
AntiPearl: “Nothing which implies contradiction falls under the omnipotence of God.”
― Thomas Aquinas, Summa Theologica, 5 Vols
Nope.
A man has a natural need to protect, defend, and cherish, therefore he is drawn toward a weaker vessel. A woman's need to be cared for causes her to be drawn to a man who makes her feel secure. These natural need help us to find life mates that best fit our abilities and drives. But power struggles still arise especially when a girl has not been taught what God says concerning her husband.
I don't like where this is going. Also, I am confident that God has not told Debi anything about my husband.
Some of you who have strong gifts might ask, "Well, what about my God-given gifts and drives? Are women just supposed to lay down their abilities and let the man do his thing, even when she may be more gifted and capable than he is?"
No.
Yes! That is exactly the way it is, and no, not at all.
That makes no sense.
The key is to recognize your natural type, not so you can take the lead, but so you can understand how it might weaken or aid your service to your first-in-command - your husband (Ephesians 5:22-24)
Yes, Ephesians 5:22-24 does tell wives to submit to their husbands. Nowhere, however, does the Bible tell wives that their husband is first-in-command. That honor always go to the Creator God.
Do the Pearls realize that they are advocating a (pathetic) form of idolatry?
God knew we would complain, so he gave us a careful, logical answer. Now for you girls who live by your feelings (like me), I know it is painful, but try think logically for just a moment. The answer lies in the very nature of a man and the nature of a woman. Understanding and appreciating these Biblical realities is the foundation of all that makes a cherished help meet.
I don't know how to think like Debi, but I imagine it is quite painful. I'm a woman and have NO problem using logic.
Shouldn't this "divine" answer be obvious?
Man's Nature: God did not create man with a knowledge of good and evil. He was created to develop into a higher plane of wisdom and character. God knew that this growth process would be challenged by the devil and by man's own propensity to advance himself. There was a problem with creating a man with autonomy, as evidenced by the perpetual failures of the male gender. But God in his wisdom created the male with an innate caution and natural skepticism rooted in his cold logic and unemotional responses. Granted, that which guards him against believing a lie can be twisted to become the basis of rejecting the truth, as history demonstrates. The devil is the master of deceit. He is the father of lies (John 8:44) So God created man with extreme resistance, reluctance, stubbornness and with a skeptical mind.
*Rubs at forehead*
So many problems in one paragraph... I don't know where to start.
First, I don't think this section was written by Debi. The voice of the writer is completely different than the rest of the book. I suspect this section was ghost written by Michael...but I can't prove that.
Let's wade into the theological morass. MikeDebi's God is constrained by both the devil and by man. If MikeDebi's God is constrained, then God is not omnipotent - a characteristic claimed by the Creator God of the Abrahamic religions.
Equally importantly, the only sentence in the whole paragraph about human nature that is supported by the Bible is "God did not create man with a knowledge of good and evil." The rest of the paragraph is a bunch of random suppositions lumped together.
Why did she / he insult the entire male gender? Women screw up, too.
And does this mean men who are sensible, active participants in life, agreeable, and not generally paranoid are not actually men?
(Side note from my goofy husband: ALL men who help out around the house, care for children, interact with other human beings respectfully, and smile regularly have been planted by the Devil to make women put their guards down and not submit to their husbands. It's all so clear now....)
Female's Nature: God created the female to express in excess a narrower band of the image of God. She is the softer, kinder, believing side. God designed the woman to be sensitive and vulnerable for the sake of the little ones whom she must nurture. The soul of a mother must be quick to feel, to hurt, to love, to have compassion, to take in the broken, and to believe the best. Vulnerability is both a woman's greatest natural asset and the point of her greatest weakness. Our very nature makes us susceptible to being tricked. We were created to be protected by our men while we nurture the family and maintain a connection with the emotional side of God.
If God created women with certain traits, there is no way those traits are "excessive." (I try not to judge others religious beliefs, but the Pearls get under my skin AND blatantly stray into weird, selfish heresies.)
Women are created to raise children as a sole purpose. God must be agonizingly bad at math. Assume that women start having children at age 20 and produce 1 child a year until age 45 in the Quiverfull ideal. This means women are raising kids for at most 43 years out of a 85-year life span. Why not just have women start breeding at age 12 and stop at 67 years old? Women would still have 18 years to raise the last baby before dying.
How exactly did Jael's driving a tent peg through Sisera's skull fit in the child-rearing paradigm outlined by the Pearls? I mean, I can see how it fits with a cow protecting her baby - but not the wussy, push-over woman of PearlLand....
Male and female together complete the image of our Creator, but we are vastly different. We each carry a strength and a weakness. Our roles were designed around these strengths and weaknesses. Neither can perform the role of the other well.
According to whom? Michael Pearl isn't very good at being a human being, so I wouldn't use him as an example of men and caring. Debi apparently can't use logic, but many women can.
In the next section, Debi launches into a detailed explanation of the Biblical support for her worldview. It's...something.
AntiPearl: “Nothing which implies contradiction falls under the omnipotence of God.”
― Thomas Aquinas, Summa Theologica, 5 Vols
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
Preparing to Be a Help Meet: Three Types of Women - Part Four
Now, Debi moves on to the "Go-to Gal" which is supposed to be the female version of the King.
The Go-to Gal
My son's wife, Zephyr, is a Go-to Gal, similar to the King type. That is not to say she is overtly bossy; she knows her place as a wife. But she is strong, capable, and gives a sense of taking care of the greater number of people. Go-to Gals ooze with confidence, have strong opinions, and do well organizing people. These types often have a queenly presence. Beware: Girls that are dominant can easily become Grabbers.
Where does Debi's obsession with serving the "greater number" of people come from? I find that a strange obsession since the Gospels are pretty clear on serving the people left behind by society - not the "greatest number".
Actually, Zephyr sounds interesting. With any luck, Debi's son Nathan took after a nice relative rather than his parents.
Don't know what a Grabber is.... perhaps a later chapter will let us know..
An example of a Kingly man in Scripture is King Solomon. David was in fact a king, but in personal nature he manifested himself as a Priestly type. A female example of a Go-to Gal is Deborah. Her story is found in Judges 4. She was a judge in Israel and such a strong personality that the armies would not go to battle without her being with them.
????
I don't know why Debi declaims that King Solomon was Kingly while King David was....not. This is one of those places where an explanation would be nice.
Deborah is a great example of a "Go-to-Gal". She also worked outside the home and spent time in the company of unrelated men, in case anyone was keeping score on that count.
Also in Judges 4 - Jael. Jael of "Pretend to hide the enemy's king in a tent then drive a tent stake through his skull while he sleeps" fame. I think we can count Jael as a "Go-to-Gal".
When I think of Queenly/Go-to Gal, two different ladies come to mind. One is a pastor's wife. He is regal and so is she. When she walks into a room, she glides with her head held high.
Clearly, posture is entirely dependent on inner personality characteristics. Duly noted.
The King Male/Queen Female combination is often bad, but because she has purposed her heart to serve and honor her husband, their marriage is powerful.
*Blinks*
Since when is the King/Queen combination bad? Where did that come from? Not from history...or the Bible.....seriously, where did this come from?
She brings it strength and honor. Her resolve allows him to grow as a minister without having to take time to pamper her as his weaker vessel. Together they do well in raising a family in a challenging ministry. In the back of this book, her husband will tell an awesome story about his strong capable wife.
Oh, goody. Can't wait to hear this story. The rest of the quotes are from the perspective of the minister husband.
Well, I would like to say the most important thing to me is that my wife does not have a critical spirit toward me. She does not keep a "weighted-in-the-balance" score card like some ladies do. What I mean by that is, she does not keep mental records of the household chores I do then compare them to the amount she does. I see other wives making sure their husbands take their turn doing housework or babysitting, and if the husband does not jump into "his role," as she has determined it to be, then she is mad. I am so proud of my fine wife. Her serving heart makes me love her more and more each day.
Wow. He is wiling to point-blank admit he doesn't do a fair share around the house then praises his wife for doing what he is too lazy to do.
Classy.
My favorite photo of her is a shot of when she was covered with mud after doing some plumbing. There is a great story behind that picture which demonstrates her commitment to me.
That's a creepy sentence.
I am a preacher of the gospel. One of my favorite places to preach is in prisons. I had put in a request to preach at a new prison, but months passed and they did not have any openings. Then one day the chaplain called and said someone had cancelled and I could come in. It was an opening that could lead to a weekly time slot.
So, his favorite place to preach is a place where he literally has a captive audience. That does not speak well of his preaching skills....
I was dressing when I heard my son yell, "The water doesn't work." My wife went outside and looked under the house. She came in and told me that there was a break in the pipe and water was pouring out. It was Sunday afternoon and there was no chance of getting a repairman even if we could afford it. I felt my heart sink. I knew nothing of repairing plumbing, so I dreaded to even try, and further, I knew if I missed going to the prison this time the probably would not call me again.
This is an example of what I find most mind-boggling about the CP mindset: Men bring nothing to the table in marriage.
He can't supply enough money to keep the house in repair, can't fix the house when it breaks, and is marginally employed.
Before reading this book, I assumed - falsely - that women traded economic and relational freedom for a husband with a definite income and traditional "male" skill set.
Nope. Women trade economic and relational freedom for .....um.... lots of dependents including their husband - you know, the family leader.
My face must have reflected defeat as I sat on the bed to take off my dress clothes.
I felt my wife step up close to me and lay her hand on my shoulder. I looked up into her smiling eyes. As she spoke, her tone was full of encouragement and confidence. "I can fix the pipe. You go on to the prison. I know how much this means to you."
Good for her that she knows how to plumb.
Why is this a new piece of information? They've been married long enough to have a talking child - how did her skills with plumbing go under the radar that long?
Late that afternoon I was energized as I returned from a really wonderful meeting of preaching to a bunch of sinners. When I pulled into the driveway my wife was just crawling out from under the house, muddy and tired but successful in fixing the plumbing. My son snapped a photo.
I'm really curious HOW she fixed the pipe. Plumbing is tricky. It requires specific tools and materials. Did they just happen to have them all lying around? Did she make a run to a store? Or a neighbor's house?
What kind of woman did God give me? The very, very best. She is the most willing servant I could ever imagine.
Your wife is not an object, toy or a present from God. Stop talking like she is.
We have a house full of homeschooled kids, she is a great cook, and she keeps the house clean while always being cheerful. When I come home from work I feel like a king as she and all the kids crowd around to welcome me. I could not be the man I am today without her. Every time I stand to preach I know I am here because of her. I am free from the burdens of life and the turmoil of stress because she makes sure the household is running smoothly and peacefully. Without such a wife I would not be a successful preacher.
What does this guy bring to the marriage? Absolutely-freaking-nothing. She runs the house, raises the kids and keeps him carefully wrapped in bubble-wrap so he won't break. Kings - especially those anointed by God - are painfully brittle and with smash into a million pieces if life gets hard.
So am I a wonderful, sacrificing husband? No. I am distracted with thought, focused on ministry, and probably more selfish than most. But I am so thankful she does not measure my worth and service to her before she honors and serves me.
Notice how a rare moment of introspection - "As a husband, I suck!" - leads not to change for him but a back-handed compliment to his wife.
Together, we are a team working to honor and serve the Savior.
Yup. The Gospels were chocked full of stories about the Apostles and Jesus being waited on hand-and-foot by their wives.
Oh, wait.....no.
So what do I think is important in a woman? A willing heart.
And an ability to rationalize a lazy, self-absorbed spouse.
AntiPearl: "
The Go-to Gal
My son's wife, Zephyr, is a Go-to Gal, similar to the King type. That is not to say she is overtly bossy; she knows her place as a wife. But she is strong, capable, and gives a sense of taking care of the greater number of people. Go-to Gals ooze with confidence, have strong opinions, and do well organizing people. These types often have a queenly presence. Beware: Girls that are dominant can easily become Grabbers.
Where does Debi's obsession with serving the "greater number" of people come from? I find that a strange obsession since the Gospels are pretty clear on serving the people left behind by society - not the "greatest number".
Actually, Zephyr sounds interesting. With any luck, Debi's son Nathan took after a nice relative rather than his parents.
Don't know what a Grabber is.... perhaps a later chapter will let us know..
An example of a Kingly man in Scripture is King Solomon. David was in fact a king, but in personal nature he manifested himself as a Priestly type. A female example of a Go-to Gal is Deborah. Her story is found in Judges 4. She was a judge in Israel and such a strong personality that the armies would not go to battle without her being with them.
????
I don't know why Debi declaims that King Solomon was Kingly while King David was....not. This is one of those places where an explanation would be nice.
Deborah is a great example of a "Go-to-Gal". She also worked outside the home and spent time in the company of unrelated men, in case anyone was keeping score on that count.
Also in Judges 4 - Jael. Jael of "Pretend to hide the enemy's king in a tent then drive a tent stake through his skull while he sleeps" fame. I think we can count Jael as a "Go-to-Gal".
When I think of Queenly/Go-to Gal, two different ladies come to mind. One is a pastor's wife. He is regal and so is she. When she walks into a room, she glides with her head held high.
Clearly, posture is entirely dependent on inner personality characteristics. Duly noted.
The King Male/Queen Female combination is often bad, but because she has purposed her heart to serve and honor her husband, their marriage is powerful.
*Blinks*
Since when is the King/Queen combination bad? Where did that come from? Not from history...or the Bible.....seriously, where did this come from?
She brings it strength and honor. Her resolve allows him to grow as a minister without having to take time to pamper her as his weaker vessel. Together they do well in raising a family in a challenging ministry. In the back of this book, her husband will tell an awesome story about his strong capable wife.
Oh, goody. Can't wait to hear this story. The rest of the quotes are from the perspective of the minister husband.
Well, I would like to say the most important thing to me is that my wife does not have a critical spirit toward me. She does not keep a "weighted-in-the-balance" score card like some ladies do. What I mean by that is, she does not keep mental records of the household chores I do then compare them to the amount she does. I see other wives making sure their husbands take their turn doing housework or babysitting, and if the husband does not jump into "his role," as she has determined it to be, then she is mad. I am so proud of my fine wife. Her serving heart makes me love her more and more each day.
Wow. He is wiling to point-blank admit he doesn't do a fair share around the house then praises his wife for doing what he is too lazy to do.
Classy.
My favorite photo of her is a shot of when she was covered with mud after doing some plumbing. There is a great story behind that picture which demonstrates her commitment to me.
That's a creepy sentence.
I am a preacher of the gospel. One of my favorite places to preach is in prisons. I had put in a request to preach at a new prison, but months passed and they did not have any openings. Then one day the chaplain called and said someone had cancelled and I could come in. It was an opening that could lead to a weekly time slot.
So, his favorite place to preach is a place where he literally has a captive audience. That does not speak well of his preaching skills....
I was dressing when I heard my son yell, "The water doesn't work." My wife went outside and looked under the house. She came in and told me that there was a break in the pipe and water was pouring out. It was Sunday afternoon and there was no chance of getting a repairman even if we could afford it. I felt my heart sink. I knew nothing of repairing plumbing, so I dreaded to even try, and further, I knew if I missed going to the prison this time the probably would not call me again.
This is an example of what I find most mind-boggling about the CP mindset: Men bring nothing to the table in marriage.
He can't supply enough money to keep the house in repair, can't fix the house when it breaks, and is marginally employed.
Before reading this book, I assumed - falsely - that women traded economic and relational freedom for a husband with a definite income and traditional "male" skill set.
Nope. Women trade economic and relational freedom for .....um.... lots of dependents including their husband - you know, the family leader.
My face must have reflected defeat as I sat on the bed to take off my dress clothes.
I felt my wife step up close to me and lay her hand on my shoulder. I looked up into her smiling eyes. As she spoke, her tone was full of encouragement and confidence. "I can fix the pipe. You go on to the prison. I know how much this means to you."
Good for her that she knows how to plumb.
Why is this a new piece of information? They've been married long enough to have a talking child - how did her skills with plumbing go under the radar that long?
Late that afternoon I was energized as I returned from a really wonderful meeting of preaching to a bunch of sinners. When I pulled into the driveway my wife was just crawling out from under the house, muddy and tired but successful in fixing the plumbing. My son snapped a photo.
I'm really curious HOW she fixed the pipe. Plumbing is tricky. It requires specific tools and materials. Did they just happen to have them all lying around? Did she make a run to a store? Or a neighbor's house?
What kind of woman did God give me? The very, very best. She is the most willing servant I could ever imagine.
Your wife is not an object, toy or a present from God. Stop talking like she is.
We have a house full of homeschooled kids, she is a great cook, and she keeps the house clean while always being cheerful. When I come home from work I feel like a king as she and all the kids crowd around to welcome me. I could not be the man I am today without her. Every time I stand to preach I know I am here because of her. I am free from the burdens of life and the turmoil of stress because she makes sure the household is running smoothly and peacefully. Without such a wife I would not be a successful preacher.
What does this guy bring to the marriage? Absolutely-freaking-nothing. She runs the house, raises the kids and keeps him carefully wrapped in bubble-wrap so he won't break. Kings - especially those anointed by God - are painfully brittle and with smash into a million pieces if life gets hard.
So am I a wonderful, sacrificing husband? No. I am distracted with thought, focused on ministry, and probably more selfish than most. But I am so thankful she does not measure my worth and service to her before she honors and serves me.
Notice how a rare moment of introspection - "As a husband, I suck!" - leads not to change for him but a back-handed compliment to his wife.
Together, we are a team working to honor and serve the Savior.
Yup. The Gospels were chocked full of stories about the Apostles and Jesus being waited on hand-and-foot by their wives.
Oh, wait.....no.
So what do I think is important in a woman? A willing heart.
And an ability to rationalize a lazy, self-absorbed spouse.
AntiPearl: "
You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go...
Theodor Seuss Geisel
Writer, Cartoonist, Animator
Writer, Cartoonist, Animator
Saturday, September 13, 2014
Preparing to Be a Help Meet: Three Types of Women - Part Three
Debi moves on to Priestly/Steady/Servant women.
My daughter who wrote the Teacher's Guide for this book is a Servant, similar to a Priest type. From the time she was a small child, she "mothered" her little sister. She always enjoyed caring for the elderly. She was a wonderful young daughter, helping me do anything around the house.
That sounds like a miserable childhood, actually. The daughter, who she never bothers to name in the chapter, is her second daughter Shiloh.
My daughter who wrote the Teacher's Guide for this book is a Servant, similar to a Priest type. From the time she was a small child, she "mothered" her little sister. She always enjoyed caring for the elderly. She was a wonderful young daughter, helping me do anything around the house.
That sounds like a miserable childhood, actually. The daughter, who she never bothers to name in the chapter, is her second daughter Shiloh.
She is a peacemaker, kind, and considerate.
People never cease to amaze me. Sometimes the apple falls far away from the tree.
People never cease to amaze me. Sometimes the apple falls far away from the tree.
Because she was known for being such a sweetheart, she had 27 different offers for marriage. My other girls had no such track record...not even close.
That's a creepy thing a parent to brag about. The creepy aspect increases when Debi compares Shiloh's number of suitors to Shoshonna and Rebekah.
I wonder if Shiloh would have preferred any of the other 26 men to the man she married.
That's a creepy thing a parent to brag about. The creepy aspect increases when Debi compares Shiloh's number of suitors to Shoshonna and Rebekah.
I wonder if Shiloh would have preferred any of the other 26 men to the man she married.
Men are not intimidated by a female with a kind Servant's heart.
*Psst*
Hey, Debi. Let me let you in on a secret. Many men like assertive women. Most men are not intimidated by an assertive woman - and why marry someone who is intimidated by a personality characteristic?
It is so feminine, very different from males.
My husband walked in on one of our male milkers feeding a batch of orphaned kittens. The milkers had set up a feeding schedule for the litter and would carefully wash and pet them so the kittens would get physical contact like the mom would have given. Clearly, our milkers are actually female. (I think I'm gonna keep that information to myself.)
*Psst*
Hey, Debi. Let me let you in on a secret. Many men like assertive women. Most men are not intimidated by an assertive woman - and why marry someone who is intimidated by a personality characteristic?
It is so feminine, very different from males.
My husband walked in on one of our male milkers feeding a batch of orphaned kittens. The milkers had set up a feeding schedule for the litter and would carefully wash and pet them so the kittens would get physical contact like the mom would have given. Clearly, our milkers are actually female. (I think I'm gonna keep that information to myself.)
It is important for a Servant to not become a pitiful, little-brown-bird-person. Maintain your individuality and develop your gifts. Always keep in mind that it is good to be an Encourager, but not an Enabler. An Encourager helps people better themselves. An Enabler does things for people that they should be doing for themselves, healing their self-inflicted wounds and sympathizing with their poor vices to the point that they are enabled to continue their negative behavior without facing the consequences or assuming responsibility for change. This simple concept could be key in your life.
*Gapes in shock*
Debi, that's freaking awesome advice! If you had followed this theme throughout the book instead of explaining how to be an Enabler with real-life examples, your book would be so much better.
*Gapes in shock*
Debi, that's freaking awesome advice! If you had followed this theme throughout the book instead of explaining how to be an Enabler with real-life examples, your book would be so much better.
Girls that are of the Servant type tend to become Hidden Flowers if they don't stay focused on serving the greatest number. Keep looking for a vision. Get a purpose in life that is bigger than you, homeschooling and even family. Prayer will be an important part of your ministry.
The only problem with this is that the ONLY example of a bigger picture in life Debi gives is in some kind of "ministry". No secular work outside the home, no advanced education, no volunteer work for secular or government entities is ever mentioned.
The only problem with this is that the ONLY example of a bigger picture in life Debi gives is in some kind of "ministry". No secular work outside the home, no advanced education, no volunteer work for secular or government entities is ever mentioned.
An example of a Priestly/Servant type of man found in Scripture is, of course Jesus.
Debi, you defined the Priestly type as being in the image of Jesus. You can't whip Jesus out as an example because he's the basis for the explanation.
Debi, you defined the Priestly type as being in the image of Jesus. You can't whip Jesus out as an example because he's the basis for the explanation.
The Apostle John must have been a Priestly type also. A female example would be Ruth who faithfully served her mother-in-law.
I'd like a little more information on how these two are Servant-types, but that's not going to happen.
This section got me to thinking: How did things work out for Shiloh of the 27 marriage proposals? Well, here's her story of a "funny" moment at her wedding in the Teacher Guide of Preparing:
I'd like a little more information on how these two are Servant-types, but that's not going to happen.
This section got me to thinking: How did things work out for Shiloh of the 27 marriage proposals? Well, here's her story of a "funny" moment at her wedding in the Teacher Guide of Preparing:
My funniest moment came when I had only been married for about 30 minutes. My Prince Charming and I were cutting our wedding cake together. He sweetly fed me a bite of cake. Then, beaming, I picked up some cake to put in his mouth. You need to understand that he is not one for old traditions! Instead of closing his mouth like a normal, polite guy, he blew that big mouthful of cake out all over me. I had cake all over my dress, hair and face. The ladies watching gasped in horror, but the men burst into laughter. My new husband and I both started laughing as we rubbed cake off my hair. This might make you say, "How dare he?" but when we are 70 we will tell our grandkids and we will still be laughing. I am laughing as I write. You have to know my man to really appreciate just how funny it was.
Shiloh, you may be laughing, but I'm not.
I know you grew up with Michael and Debi Pearl for your parents so you've been exposed to hurtful behavior chronically and have lost your perspective on normal, funny behaviors.
Spraying cake all over your beautiful wedding dress isn't funny or normal. At best, it's impulsive and destructive. At worst, it's insulting and degrading. I hope you can see that one day.
AntiPearl: Show respect to all people, but grovel to none.
AntiPearl: Show respect to all people, but grovel to none.
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