Fall is creeping into West Michigan. Days are still warm, but the nights are getting a little chilly.
I was unexpectedly busy this week because the paint department at the hardware retail store I work at decided to run the first paint sale since COVID-19 started. The customers have been pretty good - but we are still getting slammed. The staffing hours seem like our schedules were made when the store was assuming that the sale was canceled - but since the sale is on - we are just short on labor most of the time.
Add in the fact that a simple majority of our staff is new to paint and that's lead to more work for the experienced members of the team like me. I'm one of three people in the department who is licenced to run an electric ladder - think of a really small scissor lift - so I've been moving 100 or more gallons of paint from the overhead storage down to floor level each evening then stocking the shelves. The nice bit is once I've put up gates I can work without wearing a mask. The downside is that gallons of paint are shipped in four packs that weight around 40 pounds so I'm in anaerobic burn most of the time even without a mask.
On an unrelated note, my shoulders and upper arms are getting toned and I have no idea why. :-P
We are 4.5 minutes into Geoffrey Botkin's YouTube video "What If My Husband Dies?" , So far, he was waxed poetic about the good old days when tons of people died young while being chary on sharing any practical advice for the mother of four boys whose husband has COPD in the middle of a respiratory virus pandemic. At the end of the last post, he promised that if she writes after her husband dies, he'll give some targeted advice - but until then - he'll stick with broad musings. Broad, marginally effective ramblings like these:
Pssst! Pssst! Earth to Botkin! Psst!
What you talk about with your male offspring right now is of no importance to this conversation. Why? Your sons are fully grown men. The oldest son is around 40 and the youngest son is in his mid-twenties. The oldest three sons are married fathers. One son has managed to raise his family while working as a freelance composer - which means he has utilized his skills, hard work and connections to make a career in a very tight field. The older unmarried son started a CNC weapon accessory business that seems to be keeping the other four brothers financially stable. What you talk about with them today is moot; they are living the lives of financially independent adults.
I might be more interested in listening to what you told the boys when they were the same age or younger than the LW's sons - but we'll never know if that advice alone would have launched all of your sons' careers.
No, the only bit that's marginally more useful would be a discussion of how Victoria along with Anna Sofia and Elizabeth will be able to support themselves if Geoffrey Botkin died today. Victoria has at least 20 years of life ahead of her based on her age - and the two daughters have five decades of life to have financial plans for. How will inheritance, character and business help them? After all, their lives far more closely mimic the wife with four dependent children than the grown brothers's lives do.
Only someone who is completely divorced from financial want can blithely declare that stories about Great-great Grandpa have the same value as money, houses or lands. You can use assets to provide food, shelter, clothing, heat, medical care and schooling for four sons. Stories about their ancestors can certainly provide moral support during times of want - but most mothers would honestly prefer a healthy insurance payout or a house to sell when their children need support than a good story.
On a more philosophical level - why wait to share those stories until after the father dies? Women tend to be given the job of keeping family stories alive - but the father presumably knows more about his ancestors than his wife has memorized during their time together.
On a more practical level - the United States has a world-class library system. Residents can sign up for a library card for free in the municipality in which they live and receive a treasure trove of supplies. Libraries run free classes for babies through elders on every topic imaginable. Patrons can borrow books from all over the state and country to read - or audiobooks to listen to. Librarians become experts at knowing how to access a wide range of support systems within their local area. The closest library to us provides free high(ish) speed internet access and computers to use in an area where many families lack internet access. They also help people fill out various forms to access social services. My previous library specialized in helping people find jobs and providing access to English language learning materials for adults.
My two-cents to the LW is to start visiting her local library alone or with her kids in tow. Libraries have been a cornerstone of lifelong learning for three generations in my family - actually, four if you count my son and niece - and giving your sons familiarity with public libraries is a useful long-term gift. While there, tell the librarian that you are concerned that you might have to re-enter the workforce and could use some help with writing resumes. Read the resources the librarian suggests and write a practice resume. Your first draft will suck - but that's ok; everyone's first draft sucks. Ask the librarian if they would be willing to read your resume and give you some pointers. You might feel self-conscious about that - but librarians enjoy being able to help out patrons.
Good luck - and as always - don't ask Geoffrey Botkin for advice.
Pssst! Pssst! Earth to Botkin! Psst!
What you talk about with your male offspring right now is of no importance to this conversation. Why? Your sons are fully grown men. The oldest son is around 40 and the youngest son is in his mid-twenties. The oldest three sons are married fathers. One son has managed to raise his family while working as a freelance composer - which means he has utilized his skills, hard work and connections to make a career in a very tight field. The older unmarried son started a CNC weapon accessory business that seems to be keeping the other four brothers financially stable. What you talk about with them today is moot; they are living the lives of financially independent adults.
I might be more interested in listening to what you told the boys when they were the same age or younger than the LW's sons - but we'll never know if that advice alone would have launched all of your sons' careers.
No, the only bit that's marginally more useful would be a discussion of how Victoria along with Anna Sofia and Elizabeth will be able to support themselves if Geoffrey Botkin died today. Victoria has at least 20 years of life ahead of her based on her age - and the two daughters have five decades of life to have financial plans for. How will inheritance, character and business help them? After all, their lives far more closely mimic the wife with four dependent children than the grown brothers's lives do.
Only someone who is completely divorced from financial want can blithely declare that stories about Great-great Grandpa have the same value as money, houses or lands. You can use assets to provide food, shelter, clothing, heat, medical care and schooling for four sons. Stories about their ancestors can certainly provide moral support during times of want - but most mothers would honestly prefer a healthy insurance payout or a house to sell when their children need support than a good story.
On a more philosophical level - why wait to share those stories until after the father dies? Women tend to be given the job of keeping family stories alive - but the father presumably knows more about his ancestors than his wife has memorized during their time together.
On a more practical level - the United States has a world-class library system. Residents can sign up for a library card for free in the municipality in which they live and receive a treasure trove of supplies. Libraries run free classes for babies through elders on every topic imaginable. Patrons can borrow books from all over the state and country to read - or audiobooks to listen to. Librarians become experts at knowing how to access a wide range of support systems within their local area. The closest library to us provides free high(ish) speed internet access and computers to use in an area where many families lack internet access. They also help people fill out various forms to access social services. My previous library specialized in helping people find jobs and providing access to English language learning materials for adults.
My two-cents to the LW is to start visiting her local library alone or with her kids in tow. Libraries have been a cornerstone of lifelong learning for three generations in my family - actually, four if you count my son and niece - and giving your sons familiarity with public libraries is a useful long-term gift. While there, tell the librarian that you are concerned that you might have to re-enter the workforce and could use some help with writing resumes. Read the resources the librarian suggests and write a practice resume. Your first draft will suck - but that's ok; everyone's first draft sucks. Ask the librarian if they would be willing to read your resume and give you some pointers. You might feel self-conscious about that - but librarians enjoy being able to help out patrons.
Good luck - and as always - don't ask Geoffrey Botkin for advice.
I feel like I don't even know what to say about this guy's videos. If this is his attempt to stay relevant in his chosen career of "ministry", he would probably be doing himself more of a service by staying quiet. At least then people could imagine that he was wise.
ReplyDeleteMy best guess - and it is a guess - is that Botkin is trying to rebrand himself without as much baggage around Vision Forum. One of his younger sons - Lucas, I think - is bringing in decent money and niche fame as the owner of T. Rex Arms which has all of the "the world is ending so arm yourself with weapons!" paranoia of VF, but leaves out the religion aspect. Botkin's advice video occasionally alludes to religion - but he's not dragging in nearly as much as he used to.
DeleteYour last sentence reminds me of a George Eliot quote where she describes a debutante who was known for her intelligence mainly because she spoke so rarely that no one figured out that she was quite dumb. It's a strategy that works across time and place! :-P
ha ha yes!
DeleteBTW the first time I heard of T. Rex Arms I was picturing him selling the arms of those little plastic dinosaurs kids play with and I was wondering what in the world people are buying those for.
Wow..the QF lack of real world awareness on full display.
ReplyDeleteI'd never really thought about it, but staying in contact with the rest of the world requires work.
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