Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Preparing to Be a Help Meet: The King - Part 4

This is the second to last "King" post - and the last one that talks directly about the "King's" lunacy.

Kings usually like fine meals served on time and in good order.  If you are an especially fine cook, your gifts will be greatly appreciated.  A Kingly Man is not one to help out in the kitchen.

Translation: Your husband, who never lifts a finger, is free to complain about your crappy cooking, your failure to plate everything like a restaurant , and/or your inability to have dinner ready when HE wants it.

Kings like to talk about their plans, ideas, and unfinished projects.  They will be very objective, very unemotional, and not enjoy small talk.  Their vision is like a man looking from a high mountain, focused on the distant goal.  The King's wife needs to help him remember individuals' needs.


Good luck with that.  

Ever heard the story of Sisyphus?   He'll have gotten that boulder up the hill before the "King" remembers anyone else.

A Kingly Man will be most uncomfortable and at a loss when dealing with the sick, helpless and dying.  Where there is no hope, there will be no need for a King.  If you marry a King, don't be offended if he shirks being with the sick or weak.

Nice poisoning of the well, DebiMichael. 

In "The Wizard of Oz and other Narcissists", the author explains that most codependent people who have been enabling narcissists start to question the relationship when the codependent person becomes ill or needs help.  

On some level, the codependent person has been puting up with all of the crap because he or she believes that when the codependent person REALLY needs the narcissist, the narcissist will take care of them.

Too bad that's not how the narcissist sees the relationship - he or she subscribes to the "King" theory of interaction.

On a different tangent, let's see how many Bible quotes I can find in 5 minutes that refute that paragraph.
  1.  Matthew 25:31-46 (Parable of the Sheep and Goats)
  2. Matthew 7:12  (The Golden Rule) 
  3. Galatians 6:2 (Bear one another’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill[a] the law of Christ)
  4. James 5:14-15 ( 14 Are any among you sick? They should call for the elders of the church and have them pray over them, anointing them with oil in the name of the Lord. 15 The prayer of faith will save the sick, and the Lord will raise them up; and anyone who has committed sins will be forgiven.)
Four quotes in 5 minutes. did Mr. "I've spent 50-odd years reading the Bible" miss those four?  (This portion just reeks of Michael Pearl.)

(*Spoiler Alert*)

I read "Red Badge of Courage" by Stephen Crane when I was a freshman in high school.  My dad, who teaches HS English, pointed out that the true moment of cowardice for the main character is not during the battle(s), or during the part when he tries to comfort his dying friend, but when he leaves "the tattered man" because he is afraid that that man will die in front of him.

According to my dad, a man who cannot support the sick or dying is a coward.

A born leader is a man who can, when necessary, adapt the principles or rules to the circumstance for the greater good of the greatest number of people.

Oh, yeah.  The 11th commandment.... (massive sarcasm)

Seriously, Debi just added "The Book of Extreme Consequentialism" to the Bible.  

A Kingly man will not confer with his wife concerning the way he spends money.  If his wife "feels" it is her right to help decide how the money will be spent, she will engage in a war she will never win.  Even though she is not part of the decision making, a Kingly wife will feel secure in her husband's ability to "take care of her", due to his commanding confidence.

How's that working out for you, Debi? 

 Was it fun watching your children go hungry when Michael moved to TN without a job?  

 How long were you suffering that neck pain before strangers gave you $40,000 to get needed medical care after your husband decided to drop medical insurance?  

Or when your grandchildren were living without electricity in AZ

 How well did you sleep when that same daughter was giving birth unassisted? (Beka writes as ForeverGirl about halfway down the page.) 

Are the "Pleasures and Honors of Being a Queen" worth this kind of shit?

If you need help due to abuse, call 1-800-799-HELP (7233) or (if you have access to a computer that your partner does not), go to

AntiPearl: “Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” 
― Lao Tzu


  1. I'm continuing to follow your review with interest; I appreciate your commentary. And I do think you're spot-on in your assessment of the King personality - a lot of that looks very familiar.

    To add on to the resources for abuse victims that you mentioned, I am working on a series on my blog of how I got out of my abusive marriage and put my life back together. I hope I wrote it in such a way as to be helpful to other people; if you're interested, first post in the series is here -

    1. Thank you! I think your blog will be a great reference for people in abusive relationships.