Sunday, October 26, 2014
Preparing to Be a Help Meet: Knowledge - Birth Control and Pregnancy (2)
Debi marches out some new oddities today.
Birth control is a subject that you need to study. When Eve sinned, God placed a curse on her, "Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception: in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. " (Genesis 3:16).
The curse of the woman, and every sister of Eve, is multiplied ovulation - having babies more often. According to this passage, it seems that the woman probably didn't have a cycle every month like she does now. A woman's cycle might have come only every six months or even once a year like some mammals. At any rate, the curse of multiplied conception would have meant the cycles came more often, which would translate into closer pregnancies. This is hard on a woman's body; it is part of the curse.
That entire explanation only works if you use an outdated translation like KJV. In more recent versions like New Revised Standard Version, New American Standard Bible or New International Version, the curse is about the severe pain of childbirth - not increased frequency of pregnancies.
On the flip side, Debi does state that repeated, closely-spaced pregnancies are very hard on women's bodies. That's not often admitted by QF proponents.
As a single girl, you need to decide before marriage if you are willing to cheerfully and confidently go along with your husband's wishes, knowing that he may change his mind. He might begin marriage believing in birth control and then change his mind.
Thought experiment: What if the reverse happens? A guy is really into QF ideals before getting married, then decides he dislikes having children all over the place and orders his wife to go on hormonal birth control so he can have sex frequently with his wife without worrying about pregnancy.
Why am I worried that Debi wouldn't see the problem with a husband who orders his wife to do anything?
Never go into a marriage thinking you will change his mind. That attitude is controlling.
That is an excellent point. It's a true point for men as well - although Michael Pearl spends a lot of time in the smoothly named "Created to Need a Help Meet" explaining how men can expect to train their wives into anything.
This is one point on which you must agree beforehand or there will be contention in the marriage.
Yes. We covered our views on birth control in premarital counseling along with other important topics like family relations, money management, conflict styles, communication tips and how we would manage being an inter-faith couple.
I just realized that most QF courtship / arranged marriages have no access to trained premarital counselors. That's so unfair.
Once you are married if you stand against your husband...you will be standing against God.
Then why didn't God strike down Rebekah when she helped Jacob secure Isaac's blessing through deceit? Or when Rachel stole the gods of Laban? Why was Joseph honored for being willing to quietly divorce Mary so she could live - even though she appeared to 'stand against him'.
It is never moral to argue that you are "just following orders", Debi. Use some of your "studying" time to look up the "orders are orders" defense at the Nuremberg trials.
Know your mind: make sure you both agree before the wedding is planned. Get familiar with different natural forms of birth control as well as the timing of your own body in the event your husband wants to space the children.
The only "natural" forms of birth control I know of are the various sympto-thermal methods to predict when ovulation occurs and abstain during those periods, extended exclusive breastfeeding to try and suppress ovulation and 100% abstinence.
Sympto-thermal methods take between 3-6 months of charting practice for most couples before being used to prevent a pregnancy.
I'm just hoping Debi doesn't have some weird herbal tonic she's hawking...or planning to hawk soon.
Don't let some nurse at Planned Parenthood tell you that IUD's are not abortive, or that "the pill" is not a problem. Trained professionals are trained to lie.
In that case, I hereby declare Debi a fully-trained professional.
Seriously, get health information from a trained health professional. If you have strong feelings about the morality of one or another form of birth control, let them know - and be willing to listen. Many studies have been done on the methods by which hormonal contraceptives prevent pregnancies since the 1970's which is when Debi seems to have gotten most of her information on sexual health.
It turns out many of the "abortive" methods decried by Debi have been shown in repeated, peer-reviewed journals to suppress ovulation and thicken cervical mucus to prevent sperm from entering the reproductive tract. Oh, and the standard formulations of the birth control pill actually increase the likelihood of implantation if fertilization occurs.
That's what I LIKE about professionals - they want to know the truth and are willing to do the work needed to find the truth.
AntiPearl:If you don't stand for something you will fall for anything.