Joyfully At Home: Chapter Ten - Part One

We had the first winter storm of 2020!

The weather forecasts were all over the place.  To be fair, Western Michigan is a nightmare to do weather forecasts in.  Lake Michigan is a giant chaos wrench that causes weather to do all sorts of unexpected things.   The average forecast was that we'd have some amount of freezing rain - with enough accumulation to mess with power so probably between 0.25 -1 inch  - followed by up to 8 inches of snow. 

Looking out our windows, I think we got a solid 0.5 inches of freezing rain and maybe a scant inch of snow.    We have a bunch of small branches down in the yard like we do after every storm but nothing too large.   Thankfully, the freezing rain accumulated over 24 hours which gave the limbs of trees more time to bend rather than a sudden accumulation which often breaks the limbs.

I'm also enjoying my first weekend off of work in...oh....8 months.  We just had a scheduling fluke that gave me a weekend off and I was happy to take it.  I've enjoyed having two full days with my husband and tot.  I'm using the enforced time at home due to the storm to make up some ricotta followed by making cheese and spinach pierogies.  They are nice to have in the freezer since they cook up quickly and taste great.

While my milk heats, I figured it was a good time to look at Jasmine Baucham's "Joyfully At Home" Chapter 10 - 'Overcoming a False View of Singleness".

I was kind of looking forward to this chapter.  Unfortunately, the chapter spends no time whatsoever discussing singleness as a useful state without immediately referencing marriage.  I've picked four representative quotes to discuss over two posts to show the flavor of the chapter.


The first quote hits two points - marriage IS primary and CP/QF folks really don't read the Bible well.

I do believe that some people are given the gift of singleness ( Matthew 19: 12), but I don't believe that the " gift of singleness" should be an excuse for putting of (sic) marriage, selfishly pursuing our dreams without using God's word as a measuring stick ( 1 Corinthians 7: 34- 35), opting out of marriage because we don't properly value the home ( Titus 2:3-5) , or using the gift of singleness as an excuse for an issue with submission (Ephesians 5:22ff). (pg, 115)

Back in the "good ol' days", a woman who was unmarried was simply a woman who failed to catch a guy.  Since marriage was the beginning of a woman being treated as a mature adult, a single woman had to deal with the stigma of being a perpetual child.  She also was much more at risk for poverty than a married woman.

After reading that quote, I kinda miss those old days. 

I miss those days because a single woman was labeled as being unfortunate - not a sinner.    Jasmine just created a list of pretty brutal accusations of sinning that could be used against any SAHD who turns down a parent-lead courtship opportunity - and that's cruel.

At the same time, reading the accompanying Bible verses is amazingly funny. 

Matthew 19 is a standard Jesus story.   Jesus gets in an argument with the Pharisees over divorce.  Jesus wins the argument by declaring that people only get divorced because they are mean and bitter (in modern parlance).   The disciples reply "Man, if married life is so rough, people should stay single."   Jesus replies that some people are eunuchs by birth, others are forced to be eunuchs, and some people choose to be eunuchs to follow God - and you should be in the third group if you REALLY love God.

So - this is the first Gospel quote used in a CP/QF book - and it says that we shouldn't get married.   I think we've hit the reason that CP/QF is often described as a Pauline cult rather than Christians.

The quote from 1 Corinthians is about how married women prioritize husbands over God while unmarried women prioritize God.   That's a great quote about the value of singleness - but the quote implies that the verse supports marriage.  In my humble opinion, the seventh chapter of 1 Corinthians could be summarized as "Peeps, the world is ending.  SOON.  Marry or don't marry - but seriously, the END IS NEAR so do whatever will keep you out of sin."

Good old Titus 2.  Titus 2 isn't a wholehearted endorsement of marriage for the sake of sanctification - regardless of what CP/QF folks try to say.   The Letter makes it clear that the community has a lot of widows of various ages to support and is struggling mightily to do so.   Titus 2 tells the widows who are young enough to have children to remarry and have children so that the church doesn't have to directly support them.   Older widows are told to stop drinking too much, stop gossiping and help out the young women because raising children is a lot of work..    It's a letter I enjoy for the sheer humanity of the people involved - but it's hardly a ringing endorsement of marriage for any reason except financial ones.

And while I never want to encourage young women to develop character traits just to "rope a husband:, rather than focusing on how their character can please the Lord, here's something that I've learned from the godly young men in my life: one of the most attractive (and rare) qualities they'll find in a Christian young woman is that she is joyfully, industriously serving the Lord in singleness, not eyeing every young man that crosses her path as of prospective Romeo that will take her out of her gilded cage. (pg. 115)

Jasmine would never ever tell young women to become better people for any other reason than the please the Lord - but pssst!  Young guys find it super-attractive when young women are bettering themselves for the Lord!   Self-improvement is an aphrodisiac for Godly men - especially in young Godly women who don't seem attracted to them at all! 

That's really rather twisted.

Next up is two more quotes about how singleness is great - but marriage is better!