Sunday, April 19, 2015

Preparing to Be a Help Meet: Fleas - Part 3

Again, Debi need to reach out to someone who was dating during the early 1970's.  This story is pretty funny, though, and has some important messages to us all.

Do you believe God leads and guides people before they get saved?  Maybe even guides them in who they should marry?

Um.  I don't know because Catholics don't get saved - so I've never thought about that.

Here is what God did to my friend, Patricia.  She should be thankful; her rebuke was not nearly as bad as spiders.  So get ready to start scratching.  This is Patricia's flea story.

How are spiders worse than fleas?  Flea bites itch like hell.

God Knew me Before
Jesse started checking me out my first day at work.  For some reason he unnerved me.  When the people in my department would go on morning break, Jesse would stop by my table to chat.  I would jump up and go back to work.  I never knew what to say when he was around, so I would flee.  I think he is a King...bossy, dominant, forceful, and I don't know...he just seemed so classy that it scared me.

Nothing says "potential boyfriend material" like the words 'bossy, dominant and forceful'.

[Kingly Man interruption: Young men do well to bear in mind that a girl is who she is when she's not trying to impress a man.  A wise man observed, "Someone who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.]

The advice is pretty good.  The real test of a person's character is how they treat people who they are not trying to impress.  I don't know why the advice is addressed to young men, though, in a book marketed to young women.

Everyone in our circle of friends dated.  It was expected.  It was during the early 1970's and neither of us knew the Lord.  People I worked with encouraged me to get my own apartment so I could do my own thing.  To my regret, I listened to the troubled people who prodded me.  Once alone, I stepped into a new foreign world, a world filled with peers who pulled me far away from those who loved and cared for me.  My parents were very upset with my new life.  I soon learned why.


It's so funny watching people scramble to explain why freedoms they were allowed as young adults should be eliminated for future generations.

Let's be honest: the majority of young adults live outside of their parents' home - especially if they can support themselves financially.  Most date at some point.  Most parents welcome both as signs that the children they raised have grown into adulthood.

One day a girl at work told me, "You have to get it, you need to get on the birth control pill...everyone is."  She escorted me to Planned Parenthood.  Because I didn't want to risk my new friend, I went ahead and accepted the pills.  I felt sick, pushed into a life I didn't want.


That's the most absurd story yet! 

Why would a girl at work randomly tell Patricia she needed to be on the Pill?  Was Patricia sexually active?  Had horrifically bad periods?  Seriously, people don't just start yakking about birth control options over lunch unless someone brings it up.

Patricia had to have said she wanted to go to Planned Parenthood.  She also would have needed to talk with a nurse and explain that she wanted birth control pills.  No one hands out hormonal birth control options like candy. 

Plus, no one forced her to take the pills once she accepted the prescription.

Big life lesson: No one can push you into a life you don't want without using violence or coercion.  Being a wimp who can't speak up for herself doesn't make your friends bullies - but it does make you a great mark for abusive

During my youth I had disdained my parents' religion, but now I felt a need to try again.  I didn't want my rebellious friends leading me down paths I didn't even like.  I wanted to think for myself.  One Sunday, I went back to church but left in the middle of the service; I knew I was being rude, but it seemed so dead.

A minor theme of this chapter seems to be "Adult women who act like pre-teens".  Waiting until the end of the service to leave would have required patience and a sense of humor.  It would be different if the service was triggering or insulting - but wandering out because you are bored makes you sound about 12.

The more I was with my new friends the less I thought about God.  One night I went to a party. Jesse was there.  I was still nervous around him, but since he was there I was forced to talk to him.  Then he asked if he could call me and maybe we could go out sometime.  I said; "Sure!"  I really didn't think he would ever call me.

Wow.  Patricia's a door mat, not a person.

I've been at parties with people I didn't want to talk with.  Guess what?  I didn't talk to them.  It's not hard; just pretend you're bored at church and wander off. 

If you don't like someone, don't give them your number and tell them you'd like to go on a date.  That was really rude. 

Not long after that Jesse asked me on a date.  After just a few dates, somehow I felt that I would be his wife. 

Notice the conspicuous lack of details about what she liked about Jesse.  Maybe one of her pesky friends left a bridal magazine on a table in the office and that caused Patricia to get married. 

 My relationship with my parents began to improve, so I moved back home.  Even so, I would not have admitted to my parents or even to myself that I had been willful and rebellious towards my parents in my recent lifestyle.  I still felt they had just not understood me.  I had a lot of baggage (self-centered will) in the attic of my life, and it would come back to haunt me, but at that time all I could think of was Jesse.

Psst!  Debi, the SAHD movement didn't exist in the 1970's.  Shoehorning this story to fit the 2000's CP trends makes the story absurd.

Well,  more absurd.

One evening while having dinner with my family I announced that I might marry Jesse.  I didn't know for sure, but down deep in my heart I felt peace.  Jesse made a similar announcement to his family.  Neither of us knew about the other's declaration. 

*Raises an eyebrow*

Smooth, Patricia.

I stuck to talking about my boyfriend all the time and making heaps of favor - sized jams and butters.  Ok, I wasn't very subtle, but my family won't be having a new favorite story of the time I announced I may marry my boyfriend - you know - if he asks.

A month later, in January, he proposed.

Hmm. Does asking Patricia to get married mean that Jesse is pushing her into a life she doesn't want?

After our engagement, I realized Jesse was Jewish.  Wow! Was I excited! As a young child I had a deep love and respect for the Jewish people.  I felt that Jesse was a gift from God. 


Wait.  Patricia didn't know the religion of her boyfriend before they got engaged?  Even if Jesse wasn't practicing Judaism, wouldn't he have mentioned something about how they celebrated (or didn't ) Christmas?

 Six months later we married.  I thought that such a fairytale romance would surely lead to happily ever after.
May God prevent such fairytales.

AntiPearl:  Synopsis from King of the Hilll - Luanne Virgin 2.0 - the episode satires people who marry near-strangers to avoid having sex outside of marriage.  Luanne Platter has known Rhett for less than 24 hours at this point.

"[Luanne Platter]  announces that she's excited to be "Mrs. Rhett Platter". Luanne informs an amused Rhett that she was afraid that she wouldn't like his last name, and quickly changes her mind when Rhett tells her that his last name is Van Der Graafs. She loves it, and is equally pleased with the encouragement of Uncle Hank, who hails them "the Van Der Graafs"."


  1. Ha! I love King of the Hill - such a great show. The whole thing reminds me of living in San Angelo, TX.

    Anyway - this story seems bizarre so far. I thought most people talked about things like religion within a few dates to figure out if they were compatible or not; or maybe that's just me.

  2. "I didn't know what to say, so I would FLEA." Just finding a bit of humor :)