Maidens of Virtue: Chapter 16

"Raising Maidens of Virtue: A Study of Feminine Loveliness for Mothers and Daughters" by Stacy McDonald is final.  We've got 20 chapters in total plus I have to cover the "Literary Luncheon" idea that involves the worst reading questions on "Jane Eyre" ever.  "

So this is...Love?" is an essay written by Mrs. McDonald's daughter Jessica.  Mrs. McDonald includes a thrifty preface that mentions that Jessica was 13 when the book was originally published.  At the time of the second publication, Jessica was 23 or 24.  No matter how many times I read the introduction, I am uncertain how old Jessica was when she wrote the essay.   For a 13-year old, the essay show a lot of potential.  Sure, there are the usual awkward transitions and anecdotes that need to be fleshed out a bit more - but the writing is solid and the essay moves along at a good clip.  If she was 23 when this was written, she needs substantially more training in writing.

Jessica's essay begins with the standard spiel that Hollywood is the cause of all that is wrong with dating today.   Personally, I believe most women are more than intelligent enough to realize that romantic comedies are filled with completely unbelievable tropes like a man falling madly in love with a woman at first sight or the idea that a man who leaves a committed relationship for a woman he just realized is the perfect match for him makes a great husband.  After all, superhero movies are stuffed to the brim with equally implausible backstories but no one worries that young men are going to become superheros instead of starting a real career. 

To transition into the standard page on how women shouldn't tempt men physically and men shouldn't tempt women emotionally (yawns),  Jessica McDonald falls back on a tried-and-true technique to fatten the word count up.  She starts by writing out the dictionary definition of "love" and follows up with 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a.   I remember doing that in essays during junior high and having the technique shot down by eighth grade at the latest.  I do have to give Ms. McDonald props, though; she uses the Dictionary.com definition - which is referenced like that - instead of the Webster's 1828 dictionary beloved by the Botkin Family, the Maxwells and most other CP/QF families.   I feel refreshed that someone knows that other dictionaries have been published in the last 190 years and that the dictionaries have not been critically compromised by addition of new words or concise definitions or....you know, I really have no idea why they love the 1828 Webster so much.  I just assumed that I would find the answer to be petty.

The next half-page is devoted to how men and women shouldn't tempt each other because Jesus cares deeply about emotional purity.   As always, Bible quotes to support Jesus' love of emotional purity are completely absent.  Heck, Jesus didn't care that much about physical purity except when he was yelling at the Pharisees to stop being judgemental jerks.   It's probably best for CP/QF followers to avoid mentioning Jesus too much.  The irony of people marrying very young and birthing massive families in order to follow a man who was probably married but whose wife and family are totally absent from the writings about him is too much.

After exhausting Jesus, Jessica McDonald is still short on the word count.  (I wonder how long this essay was required to be; it's already longer than half of Stacy McDonald's chapters.) Jessica McDonald pulls out a paragraph written by Paul Tripp in a book titled "What Did You Expect?"  I've never heard of Paul Tripp, but thirty seconds on Google confirms that he's a minister-professor-author of Christian  self-help books.  He can also grow an amazingly thick moustache that could even be described as luxurious that may well have been the inspiration for Ned Flanders on the Simpsons.   Tripp and McDonald agree that love mean being a completely selfless martyr to everyone else for the rest of your life.  The fact that Tripp's definition of love is at odds with definitions from Dictionary.com and the Bible is never discussed.  I'm left wondering if Ms. McDonald ever realized the incongruencies between the three definitions.  If she was 13, that's probably a function of her age.

 Immediately after Tripp's quote, Jessica launches into a two-page story of how a guy was interested in her and flirted with her so much that other people noticed!  She liked it - but it was selfish wrong of both of them to flirt.  Eventually, the guy lost interest and moved on.  Jessica was hurt because she felt used even though she wasn't interested in him courting her.    I remembered this anecdote for two reasons.  First,  Jessica spends lots of energy declaring that she didn't give the guy any pieces of her heart in a way that is creepy to anyone who has not bought into emotional purity.  In all seriousness, she's discussing a level of flirtation that most single people enjoy while interacting with another single stranger while waiting in line at the grocery store or at a coffee shop.  Of course she didn't give a piece of her heart away; she barely even knew the guy!   Second, the amount of energy given away to this relationship is insane.  Outside of CP/QF/Emo Pure believers, this "relationship" would be a blip that would be forgotten nearly immediately afterward.  Crap, it's NOT a relationship.  There's no evidence that the two of them have done anything outside of group situations. 

The last page or so is that awkward conclusion where all the subjects of the essay are rehashed weakly.  The only new piece of information is that romantic songs can reinvigorate a person's relationship with God if the listener forces the song to describe the relationship between the listener and God.    I'm going to pass on that advice.  I'd rather listen to or sing a solidly written hymn that mangle a love song, thanks.

So....that's it.  The next chapter is begins the closing theme of staying deeply enmeshed emotionally in your family of origin as a way to guard your heart.  It's....it's weird.