Homeschooling with a Meek and Quiet Spirit: Phonics Frenzy

This section came from a chapter on anxiety. 

Mrs. Maxwell's premise is that telling others what to do is anxiety-provoking while following orders is anxiety relieving. 

I don't agree with the premise at all. 

I never feel particularly anxious when I tell others what to do because I give orders when I believe that I have information that will be helpful to accomplishing a task.  When I was helping with an autumn olive removal work crew, I gave some suggestions on how we could use the tools and people available to remove the most plants as possible in a short time period.   On the other side, I get nervous when someone tells me to do something that doesn't seem like it will work out well.

Mrs. Maxwell takes this questionable premise and adds a religious twist:

In a very similar way, when I can view myself as simply following the Lord's orders, then I don't have to own the responsibility for the outcome. When this is true, many of the fears and worries vanish. (pg. 49)

*blinks*

This is a strangely un-Biblical idea - and certainly un-Christian.  Does her Bible have Matthew 25? You know - the wise and foolish bridesmaids? The parable of the talents?  Dividing the sheep and goats?   The Bible makes it's pretty clear that Christians are expected to make choices and live with the consequences.

After laying this warped framework out, she dives into how it plays out in a homeschool setting.

It may be that you have begun your six-year-old on a phonics program, but it is going poorly at best. You start to worry that the phonics program was not a wise investment, or that your child has some kind of learning disability. How can you regain a meek and quiet spirit in this situation? You can take your thoughts captive and remember several things.

First, you prayed about your choice of a phonics program, and the Lord led you to this one. Secondly, much is learned in homeschooling aside from the actual targeted "academics." Perhaps the Lord has in mind some other learning through this problem. (pg. 49)

*rubs head*
Let's attack this from an educational standpoint where we accept that the goal is to teach the six-year old phonics first and see if that solves the problem before requesting Divine intervention.

With that goal, the cost of the investment is moot unless the program is completely inflexible.  (Hint: no program is completely inflexible because 30% of teaching is learning how to adapt materials to fit the students.)

Next, I brainstormed all the reason that a phonics program may not be doing well.  I ordered them from "most common" to "least common" based on my experience teaching HS students.  (I would love feedback from people on their experiences!)

• The teacher is learning the new program.
• The student is still figuring out the new program.
• The program's methods are a poor fit for the student who is progressing normally.
• The program-student interface is fine but teacher expectations are too high.
• The student is not developmentally ready for phonics.
• The student has a learning disability.

Honestly, if the program has just begun, the best solution for the parent-teacher to spend more time to get comfortable with the program while observing their kid's response to the program.  Give the program at least 10 contact hours (that would be about 2 weeks in traditional schools) to let the newness wear off before making any decisions.

If progress is still slow, try and adapt an activity.  Maybe the kid needs something more active like making the sound of the day out of play-dough or tracing it in shaving cream.  Grab a dry-erase marker and do the lesson on a window or mirror.  Pull out the Scrabble tiles and see how many words - real and imaginary - that the student can make with that sound.  Give creative options at least 5 contact hours to work.

Still not working?  Your kid may not be ready for phonics yet.  I'm assuming that the kid has mastered the sounds of the alphabet for both the capital and lower-case letters and can sight-read some common words.  If not, the program may be too advanced for your six-year old - and six is a bit young for detailed phonics lessons.  Keep working on basic reading and try again in a month or two.  (The freedom to focus instruction exactly to the student the biggest benefit of homeschooling, IMHO.  The biggest drawback is that the parent-teacher would need to track 4 subject areas multiplied by the number of kids they have...that adds up quick!)

Learning disabilities are more common than many people think - but the diagnosis should be done by a trained educational professional.  The local or regional school district employs professionals who do this for a living.  If you think your student has a learning disability, consider strongly re-enrolling the student in public schools for diagnosis purposes at least.   (Most public school teachers have a story about a home schooled student who was re-enrolled because the parent-teacher decided slow progress in an area was due to a learning disability...except that the slow progress was remedied in a classroom without special education services. The parent had been doing everything right - the kid simply performed better in a setting away from home.)

Regarding God's Plan - maybe the lesson is to be humble in regards to the decisions we make or to be diligent in carrying out the responsibilities shouldered by the parent-teacher.  

Maybe this is an opportunity for your child to learn to persevere through something that doesn't come easily for him. It could be that this is a time for you to develop the added patience while you gently and sweetly work with your child every day, even though the progress isn't visible. Rather than giving in to fear and worry, spend time with the Lord and your husband discerning if there are "bigger" learning projects in this trial that a 6 year old who isn't "getting it". Face your concerns with a meek and quiet spirit! (pg. 49-50)

Perseverance is an excellent "soft" skill to cultivate in children - but the goal that the child is expected to reach must be reasonable or else the child learns that hard work leads to nothing but frustration and despair.

Likewise, teachers must be patient and capable of regulating their own emotions.  They also have to judge the capacity of a student to learn the material.  I co-taught Chemistry with a certified special education teacher for two years; it was one of the best experiences of my teaching career.  I had one student who has a documented severe learning disability in reading combined with a mild cognitive issue.  Teaching him to find information on the Periodic Table took a great deal of patience and gentle humor to keep his spirits up -and it was amazing to see his pride when he mastered that skill. 

Now, I still possessed patience and humor when the class reached balancing equations - plus I had a strong relationship with the student - but that task proved to be beyond his capability.   He tried hard, I tried hard, my co-teacher worked like a demon - but balancing required a level of abstract thinking that was a step too far for the student.  We let that concept go and created a chemistry-based skill that was achievable for him.

Mrs. Maxwell has a strange faith in her husband's ability to suss out the problems in her home school from afar.  This theme reappears later in the book - but how does that work?  Mr. Maxwell was working full-time as an electrical engineer; he wasn't observing the dynamics in the school or the way his children were learning.  I'm sure he could give excellent emotional support but I'd be a bit leary of substituting a soft skill goal in lieu of learning phonics.

Oh, well.  I'm watching my son amuse himself on the floor while I write this.  He's playing with a plastic toy and he seems to be in the very first stages of using a pincer grasp.  When he was 4 months adjusted, I took a toy off his play-gym that was a plastic maze that had beads that could be maneuvered along the lines of plastic.  I did that because he would reach out for the beads with his fully extended fingers,  try to move the beads with his rigid fingers, fail repeatedly and begin to cry/scream with frustration.  Rather than face 5 months of a frustrated infant, I put the toy away.   Now that he's approaching readiness at 7.5 months adjusted, I'm going to put the toy back.  The toy might be a little frustrating now - but a little frustration is manageable.

ETA: Little guy is off oxygen 24/7 now - and has started hard-core rolling.  Time to child-proof everything.