Maidens of Virtue: Chapter Four

This chapter has the amusing title of "The Beauty of Chastity".   The title sounds noble, feminine and classically lovely.

Alas, the chapter title is only marginally related to the content of the chapter. 

See, Stacy McDonald and her ilk are in a tricky spot.  Using religion-draped slut shaming on anyone who dressed more "worldly" than they do feels SO good - and I am willing to bet it is one of their only forms of entertainment.  They can't let that go.  On the other hand, they need to defend themselves from the same religion-draped slut shaming from anyone who dresses more "modestly" than they do.  And honestly, they do NOT want to give up their hairspray, makeup and stylish clothing.  What is a girl to do?

Well, in this case, she punts and hopes no one reads too closely.....

Because of my own sinful past, as well as the fact sexual sin introduced so many sorrows into my life (even before I was born), I learned early in my Christian walk that purity meant more than simply avoiding sex outside of marriage. Sexual purity, like all virtues, begins in the heart. (pg. 43)

The first sentence in the quote is an amazing example of dangling potentially fascinating information in front of a reader - without any intent on ever following up on it.  Sure, sure, discussing personal sexual sin in a concrete fashion will give the gossipy members of her husband's church plenty to talk about -- but I suspect leaving the details to the imagination is much, much worse. 

I am especially intrigued by the sexual sins of someone else that caused her prenatal sorrows.  Is she accusing her father of passing a STD to her mother during pregnancy? Or is she blaming her parents for raising her in a permissive (read: normal) household because they had romances prior to their marriage?

There's a reason that the line of "avoiding sex outside of marriage" was the line drawn around sexual purity.   That line is relatively straightforward and not terribly difficult to conceptualize.  Compare that with the massive confusion around emotional purity.....

Sometimes women dress provocatively without any intention of following through with anything sinful. Still, remember the old adage, "Don't advertise what's not for sale!" (pg. 45)

That old adage didn't make it into the Bible - not even into Proverbs.   Stacy McDonald was a teenager in the 1980's and must have heard some inkling of consent-based relationship models - but she seems to have dove right back into the women as gate-keeper model. 

Probably because the gate-keeper model is so much nicer for slut-shaming purposes......

A woman's pride or insecurity can sometimes cause her to dress immodestly in order to be noticed ( 1 Timothy 2:9). At an early age, I learned that when I dress a certain way, I received more attention from the opposite sex.

Of course, I eventually realized it wasn't the kind of attention I was looking for. Still, I learned something: Men, regardless of age, are easily affected by the way we women dress, carry ourselves, and behave. We can inspire them to honor or we can drag them into the gutter.

Sometimes, women, especially young women, aren't at all aware of the effect they have on men. So it is up to older women in their lives, chiefly their mothers, to teach them. As women, we are called to glorify God by communicating biblical beauty (not sensuality) in the way we dress and carry ourselves - it is our duty to our brothers (and sisters) in Christ (Galatians 5:13). (pg. 45)

I don't view men as blank slates who are affected only - or even mainly - by the actions of the women they see.  I went to a co-ed Catholic high school.  The bus route that took me home first ran the freshman and young JV members to the practice field (about a 15 minute drive away), dropped off one other female student in the same neighborhood, then continued to my drop-off point about 15 minutes farther away.  I became friends with the other female student.  We were both quiet, bookworms and studious.  Meghann dressed in a neat, femininely modest style that would be acceptable to CP/QF adherents.  I was a loose flannel shirt and khakis girl even back then. 

Did our modest presence "inspire" the boys to honor?  Oh, good God, no.  It was a bus filled with 14-16 year old boys!  The boys never bothered Meghann or I and certainly never harassed us - but they had no filters in terms of talking about the sex they wanted to be having (e.g., frank discussions of porn and fantasies) to each other while we were on the bus.   (The guys were also discussing professional sports, hated teachers, video games and the upcoming game with the same level of gusto and loud vocal volume.)

The bus drivers on the route were both elderly men who used to cuss the boys out about their language.   The guys would look abashed for a few minutes, change the subject, then drift back to sex.   Even back then, it didn't bother Meghann or I.  It felt a lot like listening to girls ooh and ahh over the hot lead of the latest rom-com...the boys were simply more honest about their desires.

I've appreciate the female role-models in my life - but every time a CP/QF woman pulls the Titus 2 card out I hear "I get to judge young women freely and without censure for gossip!"

Minor note: 1 Timothy 2:9 has nothing to do with immodesty in terms of overly sexual outfits; it's talking about economic immodesty or wearing expensive shit to church to rub wealth in other Christians' faces.  Galatians 5:13 is a better fit - but Galatians 5:16-17 is an excellent fit.....

Next, Mrs. McDonald moves into a formulaic discussion of the evils of immodest dressing.  It's so formulaic that I have absolutely nothing to say on the topic that hasn't been said a million times by other critics.

The quote below is memorable because of the level of cognitive dissonance required to make the first and second paragraphs align.....

Let's discuss for a moment the two extreme attitudes. The first extreme is demonstrated by " Hillary Hotstuff". She dismisses a woman's duty to dress modestly (which is included in her call to be chaste) by misconstruing the biblical concept of " Christian Liberty." But, the Bible clearly calls women to "Adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety [what is decent and proper] and moderation [ self control], not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing, but, what is proper for women professing godliness, to do good works." ( 1 Timothy 2: 9 - 10)

While these verses do not condemn braided hair, gold, pearls, or nice clothing, they do make it clear that a godly woman's modest heart should be reflected in what she chooses to wear, whether it is her jewelry, her hairstyle, or clothing, or the smile on her face. (pg. 46)

I know very little about the biblical concept of Christian Liberty (WTF?!?), but I know gaslighting when I see it.  Those verses directly condemn 1)braided hair, 2) gold, 3)pearls and 4) expensive clothing for Christian women.  Obviously, a good writer - or even a mediocre Biblical scholar - can work around the meaning of the verses, but not Mrs. McDonald.  She just categorically states that the verses don't mean what they mean and flounces onward.  Her conclusion that verses really mean that women should pick clothing that aligns to CP/QF white, middle-class standards makes my eyes water. 

It's also telling that all CP/QF writers shy away from the fact that godly women should be known by their good works.  Good works are hard.  It requires dedication, planning, follow-through and interacting with people outside of your church and family circle.  Good works require looking at the world through the eyes of someone else.  Good works don't fit well with back-stabbing gossip about immodesty....so they ignore that bit.

Finally, Mrs. McDonald sets up some defense lines against women who may object to her hair, makeup or clothing as too worldly by claiming that "Fanny McFrumpy" is guilty of the sin of pride underneath her ill-fitting, cheap clothing.

While it may not appear that Fanny's extreme views are as likely to draw anyone into sexual sin, the false theology and Gnostic tendencies her position promotes may be equally as damaging. There is no specific "modest uniform" that is officially "godly". In fact, you can dress the girl up in a strict " modest uniform" and she may still display and immodest or sensual heart. Have you ever been to a private girls' school? Modesty truly is a heart issue; and heart issues are not solved through physical means. (pg. 47)

The claim of a false, gnostic theology is a severe one - and one that requires a proof.  Mrs. McDonald fails to explain how Fanny McFrumpy believes in a dualistic worldview (which is what she means by "Gnostic"....I think.) or how it is a false form of Christian theology.  Based on the 1 Timothy verses she pulled out earlier, I doubt she can do it - both because her logical skills are weak and the Bible is closer to supporting McFrumpy than McDonald.

Thanks for slut-shaming all the girls in private school, Mrs. McDonald.  That's a weirdly pornographic theme for a preacher's wife to include in a book written for unmarried girls and their mothers.....

But, Fanny McFrumpy exchange is one form of pride for another:

All beauty equals vanity. To be truly modest (spiritual), I must dress as plain or as frumpy as I possibly can. It proves my dedication to God. People who dress in pretty clothes, or who wear makeup, are vain and are obviously trying to attract attention. 'My modesty' beats 'your modesty' any day of the week! (pg. 48)

Psst!  Mrs. McDonald!  That's what YOU sound like when you pick at the immodest clothing of other women!

Ah, well.  Next chapter covers how to annoy the hell out of your less modest friends to get both your noisy and judgmental fixes in!